July 17, 2009

GOP senators in tears after Sotomayor hearing

"We're damned if we do, damned if we don't," weeps republican spokesman "Whitey" McWhitersons.

Sonia Sotomayor's success at her Supreme Court confirmation hearing has some Republicans in a tight spot, with conservative senators forced to weigh the political calculus of voting on the court's first beaner, who also is the first liberal nominee in 15 years.

The underlying politics are dicey for Republicans. They must be careful to keep faith with their bigoted constituents like the Sons of the Confederacy, the Rushbots, and the National Rifle Association who oppose her, yet avoid offending the Hispanic voters who represent the fastest-growing segment of the electorate.

Attn: scanning electron microscope needed to detect the violin playing for poor, suffering rethuglicans...