January 12, 2010

Mentally disturbed airhead joins braindead compatriots

Ending all hope of one day being taken seriously as a legitimate news channel, Faux Nooze hires world-renowned stupe.

“It's wonderful to be part of a place that so values fair and balanced news."
First of all, anyone who could say that with a straight face deserves to be carted off to a maximum-security nut-hatch, pronto. Secondly, this:

Mooselini would have ‘wild mood swings and would shut down in a catatonic stupor ahead of interviews,’ a new book reveals:
Palin's behaviour was so erratic that at one point senior figures in the McCain campaign began to seriously discuss the possibility that she was mentally unstable.

The embarrassing claims come as it was revealed that Palin is set to take her conservative message to the right wing US cable news channel Fox. While being drilled for upcoming interviews, 'she would routinely shut down - chin on her chest, arms folded, eyes cast to the floor, speechless and motionless, lost in what those around her described as a kind of catatonic stupor'.

The morning of her ill-fated CBS interview with Katie Couric, Ms Palin - 'her eyes glassy and dead' - was unresponsive to attempts to prep her as she was being made up.

'As they were about to set off to meet Couric, Palin announced "I hate this makeup" -smearing it off her face, messing up her hair, complaining she looked fat,' the book says.

According to the book, Mr Schmidt and Rick Davis, McCain's campaign manager, arrived at Ms Palin's hotel room in Philadelphia and 'were appalled by the scene they found'.

'The room was hot and claustrophobic; the shades were drawn. The place was full of half-eaten hotel food and stank of mouldering french fries.
'Palin, looking dazed, was surrounded, as usual, by stacks and stacks of index cards.'
This is Fux Noise’s new contributor. Well, until the inevitable day…

Sarah Palin today: "I am thrilled to be joining the great talent and management team at Fox News.”

Sarah Palin next month: “It’s time for me to quit and spend more time with my inanity.”

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The new Oprah!

big em said...

Ah, yes, that white-trash ethos is deeply ingrained. Actually, her prepping reminds me of a couple of the 'all-nighters' I pulled in college when I had fucked-off most of the semester -- especially the temporary near-psychosis -- with about the same low-grade results. But where's MY offer to appear on Fox Noise as a punter..er 'pundit'??