So, what brings you to this site?
I haven't done this in a while, but the synchronicity of these search items was too bizarre to resist:

after i have sex with girlfriend i get red dots on penis

"Lynne Cheney" "vehicular manslaughter"

mistress mir dominatrix

Hope we helped.

Triumph of the trivial
Nothing trivial about this Paul Krugman column. It's like he read my mind.

Well, well, well...
Remember the feebs FBI's reports of a possible terrist threat at the Dem convention? It was bullshit. What a surprise.

It looks like the FBI's Boston field office faked a threat of domestic terrorism just before the start of the Democratic National Convention by leaking "unconfirmed" reports of white supremacist groups readying an attack against media vehicles in Boston.

- Thanks to Cosmic Iguana.

'Results matter'*
Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S**

'Given the choice between believing a brutal dictator and defending America, I'll defend America every time.' - from Bunnypants' 'new' stump speech.

Fuckwit, get a clue. Saddam was no threat to us. Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11. Saddam had nothing to do with al-Qaida. Saddam had nothing to do with Osama bin Laden, who's still out there because you, in your arrogance, fucked up.



*New Bush mantra.
**Briefing memo presented to Bush on Aug. 6, 2001.

The 'heart and soul of America'?
Jerry "If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being"* Falwell to give the opening prayer at the rethuglican convention.

*Actual quote.

Someday, my prince will come...
Bunnypants, yearning for the one that got away, looks for him everywhere.

Today, inspecting the manly athetes of the Cleveland Browns, he put on a brave monkey-face: Speaking about offensive tackle Ryan Tucker, Bush said "He went to the same high school as my wife, but he's not as good-looking."


sigh...

Gah
I had a bad scare a couple of hours ago when I accidently rebooted and then couldn't get back on. I kept getting a disk error/press any key message. I must've finally found the "any" key, because we're back up.

But for how long....

Jebus. Cheney demands to know race of reporter assigned to photograph him
A rally organizer for the Bush/Cheney re-election-stealing campaign asked Teri Hayt, the Arizona Daily Star's managing editor, to disclose the journalist's race on Friday. After Hayt refused, the organizer called back and said the journalist probably would be allowed to photograph the vice president.

"It was such an outrageous request, I was personally insulted," Hayt said later.

A spokesman for the campaign said the information was "needed for security purposes."

Good Christ.

Pussy and faux-democrat Alan Colmes locked out of convention
Gets ass kicked, and gets pooped on, by comic dog

Among the hundreds locked out of the way-too-packed FleetCenter last night were Fox News patsy Alan Colmes of Hannity and Colmes, much to the amusement of sock puppet "Triumph the Insult Comic Dog'' from Late Night with Conan O'Brien.

"This is Alan Colmes' worst nightmare!" needled Triumph, almost in Colmes' ear.

After numerous frantic cellphone calls to Fox honchos, Colmes, to wild cheers from the crowd, was allowed back inside.

"Thank God they just let the doormat back through the door,'' Triumph barked. "Get in there and get your butt kicked by Sean Hannity!''

LOL.

That sound you just heard was Karl Rove crapping himself
Saint Ronald of Reagan's defense secretary confirms legal analysis that George W Bush was AWOL.

Republicans defect to Kerry's camp
Ohio resident Bob Stewart says of the smarmy, privileged liar: "He's been a world-class polarizer. I don't know if I can stomach four more years with him as president. He misled us into the war in Iraq and has mismanaged everything since."

"One thing that really turned me (away from Bush) as a lifelong Catholic was to see Bush go to the Vatican and try to get the pope to come down hard on Kerry for his stand on abortion. That is absolutely appalling."

In Tennessee, Brian Boland said: "I've always voted Republican and my folks will just kill me if they find out I'm switching to Kerry this year but I am just frustrated with the way Bush has mishandled everything. All the untruths."

More here.

Welcome to Fasciststan
Some Democrats who signed up to hear Dick Cheney speak Saturday were refused tickets unless they signed a pledge to endorse [the Smirking Liar].

Two men who had sought tickets reported they were required to give name, address, phone number, e-mail address and driver's license number, and then were presented the pledge of endorsement when they arrived to pick up the tickets Thursday.

One of them, John Wade of Albuquerque, said he signed the pledge because he wanted the tickets but then changed his mind.

"I got to thinking this is not right," Wade said. "They're excluding people - that's what has me so upset."

Vietnam veteran Michael Ortiz y Pino said he refused to sign the pledge and was refused tickets. Ortiz y Pino said he was asked whether he associated with veterans, pro-life, gun rights or teacher groups.

Neither man wanted to give driver's license numbers but did so.

"I said, 'Why do you need that?'" Ortiz y Pino said.

A campaign worker, he said, replied: "Secret Service stuff."

Journalism? Wazzat?
Well, I can't say it any better than BuzzFlash: "The Bush Cartel is the most dishonorable, despicable, gutter-crawling administration in history. Sandy Berger was smeared, just for purposes of political timing. Bush, Cheney, Rove, et el, belong in jail, not the White House."

Did anyone bother mentioning to the American people that Sandy Berger was cleared? Certainly not the touchholes of CNN last night...


"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr Rove!"

Woman's dying wish: defeat Bush
Loved ones asked to donate to Democratic cause

Joan Abbey, a South Florida woman who died this week, had what the reporter of the story called an "unusual last request." Instead of flower or contributions in her name to a charity, she asked those who loved her to try to make sure George W Bush lost the election. Actually, what struck me as unusual was the comments made by the rabbi presiding over the funeral. Very inappropriate. He should have kept his damn piehole shut at such a sensitive time.

Hot!! Nancy Reagan to Bush: 'We don't support your re-election'
If this is true, Karl Rove just exploded from both ends.

The widow of former President and Republican icon Ronald Reagan has told the GOP she wants nothing to do with their upcoming national convention or the re-election campaign of George W. Bush.

Nancy Reagan turned down numerous invitations to appear at the Republican National Convention and has warned the Bush campaign she will not tolerate any use of her or her late husbands words or images in the pResident’s re-election effort.

“Mrs. Reagan does not support President Bush’s re-election and neither to most members of the President’s family,” says a spokesman for the former First Lady.

Bwaaaahahahaha! You go, girl! Sweet!!



Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

The Bush ecomnitude
The fiscal conservatives in the White House project a record $445B deficit.

In job news, Colin Powell promises to create jobs in Iraq, then per Bush policy, export them to India.

From the "jokes-that-write-themselves" department
pReznit Dumbass, a man of few achievements before being selected president, accuses John Kerry of being a "man of few achievements."

Sandy Berger cleared of document theft
Berger, who'd been accused of stealing classified material from the National Archives, has been cleared of all wrongdoing.

The National Archives and the Justice Department have concluded nothing is missing and nothing in the Clinton administration's record was withheld from the 9-11 Commission.



Heh. You know what you can go do with yourselves, repukes.

What's Sindarin for 'woot!'?
Peter Jackson has added 50 minutes to the The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King DVD, due out in December. Oh baby. There are also rumors of an extended extended version, for the future mega-box-set collection of the trilogy. Woohoo!



In other LOTR news...

An article on the phallic symbolism in the Lord of the Rings films, which almost looks like it was written by Jesus' General JC Christian.

Eliot Spitzer warns GOP to not use 9/11 for politics
New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer warned rethugs of trying to politicize the 9/11 terrorist attacks during their big rally next month.

"We're going to hear a lot about September 11," Spitzer said about the upcoming rebooblican convention. "I say this to the Republican Party: With all respect and all deference, do not dare use 9/11 for political purposes."


Brought to you by George W Bush,
who was having too much fun
cuttin' brush and playin' golf.

Bad behavior
"Instead of simply showing what was happening at the podium - that's what the invaluably restrained C-SPAN is for - the news networks have elected to duck in and out of the proceedings in favor of their own anchor people and parrying partisans spouting rhetoric every bit as dully predictable as the official party lines under the guise of analysis." - Phil Rosenthal, Sun-Times.

"While the all-news cable networks decided to spend more time 'covering' the convention, most of it was spent trashing the Dems, repeating Republican soundbites, and talking over the speeches with fatuous, biased punditry. Who has time to discuss the Democrats' new policy ideas or how they plan to move the nation forward when their five minutes on CNN is spent rebutting GOP-sponsored lies and talking points dutifully regurgitated by Wolf Blitzer!" - from a BuzzFlash editorial.

Ridge to be spending more time with family
Defense of the Fatherland Secretary Tom Ridge is considering stepping down after the November election, telling colleagues he is "worn out." 

"Worn out"?????????? 'Yellow. No, orange. No wait, yellow...'
  
Ridge said he will not make a final decision until he talks to the Smirking Moron later this year, whenever he can catch the little shit between campaign junkets and vacations at Camp David or  Crawford.      

Quote from the convention

"War. I've been there. Heard the thump of enemy mortars. Seen the tracers fly. Bled on the battlefield. Recovered in hospitals. Received and obeyed orders. Sent men and women into battle. Awarded medals, comforted families, attended funerals. And this soldier has news for you: Anyone who tells you that one political party has a monopoly on the defense of our nation is committing a fraud on the American people."

- General Wesley Clark, bitchslapping the deserter chimp and his misadministration.

The case against George W. Bush
OK, this is going to be long, but it's worth it:

It may have been the guy in the hood teetering on the stool, electrodes clamped to his genitals. Or smirking Lynndie England and her leash. Maybe it was the smarmy memos tapped out by soft-fingered lawyers itching to justify such barbarism. The grudging, lunatic retreat of the neocons from their long-standing assertion that Saddam was in cahoots with Osama didn't hurt. Even the Enron audiotapes and their celebration of craven sociopathy likely played a part. As a result of all these displays and countless smaller ones, you could feel, a couple of months back, as summer spread across the country, the ground shifting beneath your feet. Not unlike that scene in The Day After Tomorrow, then in theaters, in which the giant ice shelf splits asunder, this was more a paradigm shift than anything strictly tectonic.

No cataclysmic ice age, admittedly, yet something was in the air, and people were inhaling deeply. I began to get calls from friends whose parents had always voted Republican, "but not this time." There was the staid Zbigniew Brzezinski on the staid NewsHour with Jim Lehrer sneering at the "Orwellian language" flowing out of the Pentagon. Word spread through the usual channels that old hands from the days of Bush the Elder were quietly (but not too quietly) appalled by his son's misadventure in Iraq. Suddenly, everywhere you went, a surprising number of folks seemed to have had just about enough of what the Bush administration was dishing out. A fresh age appeared on the horizon, accompanied by the sound of scales falling from people's eyes. It felt something like a demonstration of that highest of American prerogatives and the most deeply cherished American freedom: dissent.

Oddly, even my father's funeral contributed. Throughout that long, stately, overtelevised week in early June, items would appear in the newspaper discussing the Republicans' eagerness to capitalize (subtly, tastefully) on the outpouring of affection for my father and turn it to Bush's advantage for the fall election. The familiar "Heir to Reagan" puffballs were reinflated and loosed over the proceedings like (subtle, tasteful) Mylar balloons. Predictably, this backfired. People were treated to a side-by-side comparison - Ronald W. Reagan versus George W. Bush - and it's no surprise who suffered for it. Misty-eyed with nostalgia, people set aside old political gripes for a few days and remembered what friend and foe always conceded to Ronald Reagan: He was damned impressive in the role of leader of the free world. A sign in the crowd, spotted during the slow roll to the Capitol rotunda, seemed to sum up the mood - a portrait of my father and the words NOW THERE WAS A PRESIDENT.

The comparison underscored something important. And the guy on the stool, Lynndie, and her grinning cohorts, they brought the word: The Bush administration can't be trusted. The parade of Bush officials before various commissions and committees—Paul Wolfowitz, who couldn't quite remember how many young Americans had been sacrificed on the altar of his ideology; John Ashcroft, lip quivering as, for a delicious, fleeting moment, it looked as if Senator Joe Biden might just come over the table at him—these were a continuing reminder. The Enron creeps, too—a reminder of how certain environments and particular habits of mind can erode common decency. People noticed. A tipping point had been reached. The issue of credibility was back on the table. The L-word was in circulation. Not the tired old bromide liberal. That's so 1988. No, this time something much more potent: liar.

Politicians will stretch the truth. They'll exaggerate their accomplishments, paper over their gaffes. Spin has long been the lingua franca of the political realm. But George W. Bush and his administration have taken "normal" mendacity to a startling new level far beyond lies of convenience. On top of the usual massaging of public perception, they traffic in big lies, indulge in any number of symptomatic small lies, and, ultimately, have come to embody dishonesty itself. They are a lie. And people, finally, have started catching on.

- snipped from Ron Reagan's piece in Esquire.

Quote from the convention
"Yesterday at the Schubert Theater," a reporter shouted, "Alec Baldwin said the Republican Party was 'hijacked by fundamentalist wackos.' How do you react to him using that kind of speech at a DNC-sponsored event?"

With boom mics hanging overhead and reporters dutifully taking down every word, DNC chair Terry McAuliffe said that Alec Baldwin could speak for himself.

"You know what? Dick Cheney went on the floor of the US Senate and told a senator to go 'blank' himself,  so you know, I'm sorry, I'm not going to get too outraged about Alec Baldwin when the incumbent vice president of the United States of America uses language I can't use in front of my five children."

Word.

Compassionate conservitude
"Let them eat Prozac!"

A campaign worker for [the Boy King] said Thursday that American workers unhappy with low-quality jobs should find new ones -- or pop pills to make themselves feel better.

"Why don't they get new jobs if they're unhappy -- or go on Prozac?" said Susan Sheybani, an assistant to Bush campaign spokesman Terry Holt. 

Sorry, you numb b!tch, I can't afford it.

Quote from the convention
"John Kerry knows the power of America is our values and ideals. John Kerry knows that our soldiers embody the best of America's values:  Service. Sacrifice. Courage. Compassion.

"Choose a leader whose physical courage, moral values and sound judgment will - with the grace of God and our determined commitment - strengthen our country, protect our liberty, renew our spirit and secure a future for our children that is worthy of our heritage."

"Because George Dumbya Bush not only avoided combat, but went AWOL from his chickenshit champaign national guard unit."

- Hero/patriot General Wesley Clark. Mostly.

What passes for 'journalism' today
'Nobody seems to know anything about Kerry,' some lazy rethug asshat wrote in his column today, and then went on to insult him. Maybe if he had done some listening last night instead of jerking off to Toby Keith songs he might've had a clue.
Feh.

Some things I know about George W Bush:

He tortured frogs when he was younger.

He's spent most of his adult life as a drunken coke-head, living off his family name.

He deserted the National Guard post his daddy got him during the Vietnam war.

As hundreds of US troops lay dead in Iraq, he laughed about the 'missing' wmd.

He called a reporter a "major-league asshole."

He referred to the citizens of Greece as  "Grecians."

He engaged in insider trading. After he sold off the stock he waited eight months to notify the SEC.

He screamed to Wall Street Journal editor Al Hunt - at a restaurant, where Hunt's wife and 4-year-old son were present - "You fucking son of a bitch. I saw what you wrote. We're not going to forget this."

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."      'Nuff said.

"Go balloons! Go balloons dammit!!!! What the fuck are you guys doing up there?!"
LOL

Sleepy.
I've been up past my bedtime too many times this past week.

Rove towelboy Wolf 'what's this brown stuff on my nose?' Blitzer is off the hook this morning. I was over at C-Cpan until the balloon brouhaha.

Quote from the convention
"pResident Bush once said he wanted to be a uniter, not a divider. Well, congratulations, Mr. president. You have united the Democratic Party in a way that we have not seen in a generation."

- Rep. Ed Markey, D-Mass., at the convention on Thursday.



John Kerry nailed it
Paraphrasing Bartcopper LZ, not only was Kerry not a dud, he had the place exploding last night. He took every issue the g-pukes have tried to own - like religion, values, patriotism, defense - and rammed each and every one of them back down their slimy throats. Not to be crude or anything, but Karl had to have been on the crapper last night, desperately clenching his meaty little fists and going 'shit, shit, shit...'

It was that good.

We have it in our power to change the world again. But only if we're true to our ideals and that starts by telling the truth to the American people. That is my first pledge to you tonight. As President, I will restore trust and credibility to the White House.

I will be a commander in chief who will never mislead us into war. I will have a vice president who will not conduct secret meetings with polluters to rewrite our environmental laws. I will have a secretary of Defense who will listen to the best advice of our military leaders. And I will appoint an Attorney General who actually upholds the Constitution of the United States.

You see that flag up there. We call her Old Glory. The stars and stripes forever. I fought under that flag, as did so many of you here and all across our country. That flag flew from the gun turret right behind my head. It was shot through and through and tattered, but it never ceased to wave in the wind. It draped the caskets of men I served with and friends I grew up with. For us, that flag is the most powerful symbol of who we are and what we believe in. Our strength. Our diversity. Our love of country. All that makes America both great and good.

That flag doesn't belong to any president. It doesn't belong to any ideology and it doesn't belong to any political party. It belongs to all the American people.

"I’m John Kerry and I’m reporting for duty."

Quotes from the convention
"You forget a president can actually think and talk at the same time."

- Al Franken, on having President Clinton on his radio show.


"[F]or operatives, pundits and others weighing whether she's a liability in the heartland, let me note that she's not a candidate  -  and the heartland isn't stupid."   

- John Baer on Teresa Heinz Kerry, seen at The Rittenhouse Review.

Doesn't Matt Drudge ever get tired of being called out as a lying smegball?
Apparently not.

In his "world exclusive" yesterday, God's gift to scrote-cheese dredged up a discredited charge that John Kerry filmed reenacted combat scenes 'to enhance his future political career.'  It didn't stop the whores of CNN and MSNBC from jumping all over the (non)story. I truly hate them.

 


 
Ron Reagan to write scathing attack on Bush in Esquire
With sainted icon's widow Nancy Reagan barricaded in her house with the phones shut off, pathetic loser son Michael Reagan lubes up the ol' rectum in preparation for the WH's call (headline from drudge).


"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr Rove..."

PSM
Video or audio streaming of all the speeches at the Democratic National Convention, here.

Transcript of Michael Moore's speech here.


Compassionate conservatives
To deter those insidious hobo terrists, republicans will be shutting down a NYC neighborhood soup kitchen as 'security risk' during their convention next month.

Cheney rumor of the day
Hmmmm... just saw this over at the fretard site:

Bush will sign an executive order in the next few days implimenting certain 9/11 commission recomendations.  In doing so, he will create an Intelligence czar. He will choose someone he knows, someone who can do the job, and someone who needs no learning curve. He will appoint Dick Cheney.

In doing so, he is said to have struck a deal with a reluctant Colin Powell to be the VP for the second term. Powell, the loyal soldier, has agreed.

Heh heh.  Cool.
 

And their other dream-choice to take over as VP ?
 

Bush using drugs to keep from totally losing it

George W. Bush is taking powerful anti-depressant drugs to control his erratic behavior, depression and paranoia, Capitol Hill Blue has learned.

The prescription drugs, administered by the White House physician, can impair [Squinty the Chimp]’s mental faculties and decrease both his physical capabilities and his ability to respond to a crisis, administration aides admit privately.

"It’s a double-edged sword," says one aide. "We can’t have him flying off the handle at the slightest provocation but we also need a President who is alert mentally.'

The anti-depressants were prescribed after a clearly-upset Bush stormed off stage on July 8, refusing to answer reporters' questions about his relationship with indicted Enron executive Kenneth J. Lay.

"Keep those motherfuckers away from me," he screamed at an aide backstage. "If you can’t, I’ll find someone who can."

Bush’s mental stability has become the topic of Washington whispers in recent months. Capitol Hill Blue first reported on June 4 about increasing concern among White House aides over the President’s wide mood swings and obscene outbursts.

One long-time GOP political consultant who – for obvious reasons – asked not to be identified said he is advising his Republican Congressional candidates to keep their distance from Bush.

"We have to face the very real possibility that the President of the United States is loony tunes," he says sadly. "That’s not good for my candidates, it’s not good for the party and it’s certainly not good for the country."

The Bush-league recovery
US annual incomes fall for the second time  in two years.  


"Now watch this drive."

Update
The old Dell at home learned a new trick. It's simulating earthquakes all on its own. It finally loaded a page, only I can't read it because it's shaking so much. And the cursor/pointer thingie acts like it's been picked up by a tornado. Meanwhile, my work computer won't let me view comments.

Hopefully, things will be brighter soon, so please bear with me.



Fishin' with the Chimp
"The Executive Pond" host Roland Martin joins Barney Bush and his vacuous sidekick George W for a half hour of bass fishing in Crawford, on the [Smirking Smackhead]s personally designed 10 acre pond. The episode will air on The Outdoor Life network on Friday, August 6th.

The top 9 food questions we'd like to ask at the national conventions
9. Are you now or have you ever been an egg poacher?
8. Which of you is better suited to a low-carb administration, and why?
7. Mr. pResident, do you agree with your father's position on broccoli? Um, it's a vegetable, sir, looks like little trees?
6. Do you really eat waffles for breakfast every day, Mr. Kerry?
5. Vice President Cheney: Rocky Mountain oysters -- yucky or yummy?
4. When you eventually have to eat crow in front of the UN, what sides would you like served with it?
3. Which goes better when eating your words, red wine or white?
2. If you could invite any two people, living or dead to dinner, what would you serve?

and the number 1 food question we'd like to ask...

1. Boxers, briefs or edible panties?

- Heh. They make just as much sense as most of the questions asked by CNN. From top5.com.

Feh
Call me kooky, but I can't help thinking the g-pukes are going to pull something in order to try to take the spotlight off John Kerry tonight.

Hope I'm wrong.

Quote from the convention
Our new, manly VP:

"I know that we have to do more to fight terrorism and protect our country. And we can do that. We are approaching the third anniversary of September 11th, and I can tell you that when we're in office, it won't take us three years to get the reforms in our intelligence we need to protect our country.

"When John is president, we will listen to the wisdom of the Sept. 11 commission. We will build and lead strong alliances and safeguard and secure weapons of mass destruction. We will strengthen our homeland security and protect our ports, safeguard our chemical plants, and support our firefighters, police officers and EMTs. We will always use our military might to keep the American people safe.

"And we will have one clear unmistakable message for al Qaida and the rest of these terrorists. You cannot run. You cannot hide. And we will destroy you."

- C'mon, tell me you didn't get ... ummmmm... all warm and squishy right about then.

What the heck is Mainstream Media doing here, anyway?
Good Lord, are they still around? Why? Trying to justify their paychecks?

[T]he "big three" networks skipped Barack Obama's dazzling keynote speech last night. Dan Rather and Tom Brokaw and the other aged, well-fed, multi-millionaire news-readers claim that there's no news happening at the convention, so why bother to air a speech that might put a positive face on the Democratic Party and offer a vision for the future of the American people. Why let them know more about the choices they are facing in November?

- Word. From BuzzFlash's convention blog, which doesn't link this site even though we contribute to them whenever we have a few bucks.

 

Yeah, baby!
Man, this was beautiful -

As I close, Mr. President, I heard you say Friday that you had questions for voters, particularly African-American voters. And you asked the question: Did the Democratic Party take us for granted? Well, let me answer your question.

You said the Republican Party was the party of Lincoln and Frederick Douglass. It is true that Mr. Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, after which there was a commitment to give 40 acres and a mule.

That's where the argument, to this day, of reparations starts. We never got the 40 acres. We went all the way to Herbert Hoover, and we never got the 40 acres.

We didn't get the mule. So we decided we'd ride this donkey as far as it would take us.

Mr. President, you said would we have more leverage if both parties got our votes, but we didn't come this far playing political games. It was those that earned our vote that got our vote. We got the Civil Rights Act under a Democrat. We got the Voting Rights Act under a Democrat. We got the right to organize under Democrats.

Mr. President, the reason we are fighting so hard, the reason we took Florida so seriously, is our right to vote wasn't gained because of our age. Our vote was soaked in the blood of martyrs, soaked in the blood of Goodman, Chaney and Schwerner, soaked in the blood of four little girls in Birmingham. This vote is sacred to us.

This vote can't be bargained away.

This vote can't be given away.

Mr. President, in all due respect, Mr. President, read my lips: Our vote is not for sale."

- the Rev Al Sharpton, getting a standing ovation at the Dem national convention.