May 8, 2008

Senile old nutjob: "earwax! bosco! nosehairs!"

John McCain’s top 10 “out-of-touch” moments:

1. Economic downturn is “psychological.” You're only imagining your struggling and possible homelessness, you welfare cheat.

2. “Great progress economically” during the Bush years. If you started out rich.

3. eBay is the answer for poverty and recession. Make some bucks by selling any left-over food to the shmucks who... oh wait, they're poor too.

4. “Tear down” New Orleans. Hell, I don't live there.

5. Irresponsible, undeserving homeowners. It's your fault you may now be homeless, you welfare cheat.

6. Work a second job, skip a vacation. You're only imagining your struggling and possible homelessness, you whiny welfare cheat.

7. “Protect the privacy” of fabulously wealthy beer heiress Cindy McCain’s tax returns. Unlike Theresa Heinz Kerry’s, which were “a legitimate question.”

8. Opposed to SCHIP expansion, McCain speaks at children’s hospital. Scares the bejeebus out of them.

9. Baghdad safer than some American neighborhoods. Especially when you're completely enclosed in body armor and heavily-armed human shields. And totally fucking crazy.

10. “I’m not running on the Bush presidency.” Iraq, tax cuts for the wealthy, the deficit, tax credits for health care, overturning Roe v. Wade, a right-wing Supreme Court... nah, nothing like.

-- Read the actual thing at C&L.

Bonus:
11. Iran is helping al Qaida in Iraq.
12. Condoms... do they help prevent HIV?
13. He's a proud liberal running a dispirited campaign.
14. Wearing the underwear on his head backwards.
15. Not wiping the spooge off Joe Lieberman's chin.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

You, sir, have been sorely missed.

Glad you're on the mend. :)