WTF Is It Now?!?

In other news

FASCISTSTAN, Thu June 5, 2003 - The number of people applying for U.S. initial jobless aid rose unexpectedly by 16,000 last week, a government report showed on Thursday, as gloom in the labor market persisted and layoffs continued. First-time claims for state unemployment insurance benefits, a rough guide to the pace of layoffs, rose to 442,000 in the May 31 week, its highest in more than a month.

DOHA, Qatar - Serial liar Smirky McAWOL argued today that the Bush Cartel-led invasion of Iraq was justified and pledged that 'we'll reveal the truth' on Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction. "We're on the look. We'll reveal the truth," Bunnypants said, without specifically promising weapons would be found.

BAGHDAD - One U.S. soldier was killed and five were wounded today when an assailant fired a rocket-propelled grenade at them in the Iraqi town of Falluja. Witnesses were quoted as saying the U.S. soldiers were attacked as they searched for gunmen who had fired on a police station used by U.S. forces.

FASCISTSTAN - Analysts felt they were being pressured to make assessments fit with misadministration's policy objectives: Cheney and his most senior aide made unusual, multiple trips to the CIA over the past year to question analysts studying Iraq's weapons programs and alleged links to al Qaeda. They were taken in addition to Cheney's regular attendance at Bush's morning intelligence briefings and the special briefings the vice president receives when he is at an undisclosed location for security reasons.

WASHINGTON - Ashcroft to face critics on Patriot Act today - Lawmakers want to hear Attorney General Jesus John Ashcroft explain whether the Justice Department's new anti-terrorism powers should be renewed and talk about the department's treatment of immigrants following the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.

FASCISTSTAN - Martha Stewart lawyers' statement yesterday: "Why has the government after nearly a year and a half chosen to file these charges? Is it for publicity purposes because Martha Stewart is a celebrity? Is it because she is a woman who has successfully competed in a man's business world? Or, is it because the Department of Justice is attempting to divert the public's attention from its failure to charge the politically connected managers of Enron and WorldCom?"