WTF Is It Now?!?

They're getting paid to do this and I'm not
Shorter David Broder: "Mmmmmph! Oh yes, Mr President! Oh yes! Yes! Yes!!"

Shorter Doughy Pantload: "Ooh! I'm making things up and getting myself moist with the stuff I'm imagining!"

Shorter John Hawkins: "We conservatives should win major awards."

Shorter Pigboy-the-Lesser: "It only took me three sentences to get to the Hillary-bashing."

Shorter wHoward Kurtz: "If there's a bigger whore in this newsroom, I'd like to know about it."

Bonus: reader's comments to David Broder, including "How much did Karl have to pay you for this blowjob of a story?", "Mmm...cocktail weenies. Taste them, Broder!", "Is Broder stenographing from some parallel universe again?" and "You sad tragic old fool."