Longtime Bush cabana-boy: "turtles! safety pins! flapjacks!"

McNutjob to claim mantle of change, comfy chair in barber shop, last cup of pudding.

With voters sour on the status quo, John McBush plans to spend the next five months arguing that he doesn't have a history of sucking up to the status quo.

McCain will start making his case in earnest Tuesday during a prime-time speech in the New Orleans suburb of Kenner, La., a searing symbol of government inaction after Hurricane Katrina.

During which, McSame was captured in an embarrassing photo-op grinning ear-to-ear over a birthday cake being presented to him by his asshole buddy Preznit Monkey McGameBoy.

Yeah, there's a plan! Sweet! Go for it!