I'm over at the back-up blog today. My computer at work just doesn't like Blogger.

Well, we're back at work, where the heat isn't working and the coffee sucks. Plus I think I picked up some sort of viral crud at the inlaws on Thursday. The bf spent yesterday puking, so I'm pretty much doomed.

Btw, I'm also posting at the backup blog today, because not only do I keep getting dumped out of Blogger, its bloggerhea keeps dumping me off the internets completely.

Arrrrghhhh
More stuff posted at the back-up blog!

I'll be back
Off to watch some wonk tv.

NASA captures pic of huge space testicles


Candidate for a full blown supernova about to explode stellar santorum throughout firmament.

Just barely awake.

Whatever
I just had this urge to spastically photoshop Berry into a picture.

F*cking Blogger
I have a bunch of posts over at the back-up site today.

I'm trying to figure out how to get to the actual template. I hate the way the title looks.

Why 'Weenie' may start with a capital Dubya

What evidence is there of Dubya's weenieness, apart from him chickening out when it came to going up against the filthy Commies in the skies over the Rio Grande during the unpleasantness in Vietnam?

He was afraid to speak to real, live U.S. voters except in situations where everybody had been required to sign a loyalty oath.

He was afraid to speak to the British Parliament.

The thought of being anywhere near Parliament in Ottawa has scared him speechless.

Heh. More here.

Family values

That was the name of Cheyenne's most elegant whorehouse, the name of the place James said he had been the day Helen died.

Before he was accused of raping her and throwing her down the stairs.

Local bookstore sold out? Read Lynne Cheney's lesbian novel online through power of the interweb.

The fourth reich
Reaching across the aisle, huh?

House speaker Dennis "yes, Mr DeLay" Hastert last week "enunciated a policy in which Congress will pass bills only if most House Republicans back them, regardless of how many Democrats favor them."

Hastert's position, which is drawing fire from Democrats and some outside groups, is the latest step in a decade-long process of limiting Democrats' influence and running the House virtually as a one-party institution. Republicans earlier barred House Democrats from helping to draft major bills such as the 2003 Medicare revision and this year's intelligence package. Hastert now says such bills will reach the House floor, after negotiations with the Senate, only if "the majority of the majority" supports them.

Arrogant #ucking bastards. And #uck all of you who believed things were going to be different this time around. Honor, integrity, values... if this is the kind of bullshit you believe in, you can kiss my ass. You make me sick.

Sweet dreams are made of this
Ukraine state TV in revolt

Journalists on Ukraine's state-owned channel - which had previously given unswerving support to Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych - have joined the opposition, saying they have had enough of "telling the government's lies."

Journalists on another strongly pro-government TV station have also promised an end to the bias in their reporting.

A correspondent on the state channel, UT1, announced live on the evening bulletin that the entire news team was going to join the protests in Independence Square. She said their message to the protesters was: "We are not lying anymore."

The purge continues
Two more senior officials at the CIA are quitting 'because they did not feel comfortable with new management.'

As the chiefs of the Europe and Far East divisions, the two officials have headed spying operations in some of the most important regions of the world and were among a group known as the barons in the highest level of clandestine service, the Directorate of Operations.

Under Mr. Goss, it is a cadre of former House Republican aides who dominate the new management team.

Statesmanship
The grownups are in charge, bringing honor and dignity back to the Oval Office.

And by grownups I mean the X-presidents.

Sidney Blumenthal reports on how the spoiled, arrogant little brat currently in the WH behaved like a - well, like a spoiled, arrogant little brat at the Clinton Library ceremony, aided and abetted by pudgy, frightening svengali Karl 'supreme douchebag' Rove. Just one example:

At the private luncheon afterwards, Shimon Peres delivered a heartfelt toast to Clinton's perseverance in pursuing the Middle East peace process. Upon entering the tent, Bush, according to an eyewitness, told an aide: "One gulp and we're out of here." He had informed the Clintons he would stay through the lunch, but by the time Peres arose with wine glass in hand the president was gone.

And what the #uck was with that 'submarine' comment??

Read about it here.

News quiz
Q: What do the following have in common?

powerful and continuing expressions of nationalism.

disdain for the importance of human rights.

identification of enemies/scapegoats as a unifying cause.

the supremacy of the military/avid militarism.

rampant sexism.

a controlled mass media.

obsession with national security.

religion and ruling elite tied together.

power of corporations protected.

power of labor suppressed or eliminated.

disdain and suppression of intellectuals and the arts.

obsession with crime and punishment.

rampant cronyism and corruption.

fraudulent elections.

A: They're the characteristics of fascism.

Christ in a Hot Pocket°...
Misadministration says Ukraine election "illegitimate."

"We cannot accept this result as legitimate, because there has not been an investigation of the numerous and credible reports of fraud and abuse." - irrelevant, wolf-crying douchehat Colin Powell.

Secretary of State Powell said Wednesday the United States does not consider legitimate the results of elections in Ukraine, which the opposition says was marred by fraud.

He challenged leaders of the former Soviet bloc nation "to decide whether they are on the side of democracy or not."

"If the Ukrainian government does not act immediately and responsibly there will be consequences."

Jebus. Asstool.

Holy Christ on a fishstick!
No, really.

Portrait of the Son of Cod rises from the dead after sleeping with the fishes in man's freezer.

Swift boat vets still hounding Kerry
"We humble servants of truth will not stop until citizens are throwing garbage at John Kerry when they see him at the park."

At the center of the group's efforts is a $1.8 million television ad campaign that includes spots questioning Kerry's ability to make quick decisions in a fast-food line, leave adequate distance between his car and the next in heavy traffic, and take proper care of his lawn.

- from the Onion.


Heh.

I actually have to work today. WTF? Don't these people have homes??



We also serve, who only crawl about
Heroic yet nameless glow-worms honored with war monument.

Strap-on veterans for truth
'An organization dedicating to exposing the truth about the former drag queen now known as Ann Coulter.'


Former drag queen Pudenda Shenanigans.

Who would Jesus have S-M sex with?
Matanuska Christian School's principal has been fired and a teacher has quit over a disciplinary incident in which the principal had himself whipped in front of two male students in the school's basement last month after the boys were caught kissing girls in the locker room.

Clinton to ABC News: It's payback time, bitch

President Clinton's interview with ABC, on the opening of the Clinton presidential library, was for the most part a feel-good, nostalgic affair, as Clinton looked back on his presidency with ABC anchor Peter Jennings. But Clinton flashed real irritation when Jennings suggested some historians thought that Clinton's presidency had lacked "moral authority," without mentioning its having been tarnished by independent counsel Kenneth Starr's multiple investigations.

"You don't want to go here, Peter," snapped Clinton, who proceeded to criticize the reporting of ABC News, in particular, in the 1990s. "Not after what you people did and the way you, your network, what you did with Kenneth Starr. The way your people repeated every little sleazy thing he leaked. No one has any idea what that's like."

History will show that the Clintons were exonerated of all the Whitewater accusations and that the president was acquitted of all charges in the impeachment trial.

- Eric Boehlert, Salon.

Religious conservatives: national parks too gay
Where would Jesus park?

Debate over 'moral values' spills over into nation's landmarks, common sense.

Jebus wept
US State Dept threatens to review its relations with Ukraine if their government fails to investigate the allegations of election fraud.

Dignitude
Whose turn was it to dress him?

Is Bush's fly open?!

WTF news
Airline mistakenly sends couple's German shepherds to Germany.
Miniature cows!
A "compendium of indecency" from the DVM.
The story of the Donner party, as told by snowglobes.

Porking the taxpayers
"The fattest legislative hog that we have ever seen."

Congress approves budget for mariachi music, beaver management, feral hogs and asparagus technology.

Keepin' Merica safer
Rethugs, Pentagon 'major factors' in defeat of intelligence bill.

Senate intelligence committee chairman Pat Roberts said he held little hope that Congress could salvage efforts to address what he called systemic intelligence weaknesses, exposed dramatically by the Sept. 11 terror attacks and the Iraq war.

The landmark bill, which would have created the post of national intelligence director to oversee American spy agencies, with authority over the bulk of their combined budgets, was blocked Saturday after what lawmakers said was practically a rebellion by some conservative House Republicans.

Virginia paper drops bigoted, crackpot columnist
Couldn't happen to a nicer douchehole.

The Virginian-Pilot's editor, Marvin Lake, announced in a column responding to a reader's complaint about editorial balance at the paper that frothing psycho Michelle 'lock 'em all up!' Malkin had been dropped as a columnist because she was "too stridently anti-liberal."

Lake explained that "readers often took issue with her seemingly mean-spirited rantings and suggested that she be dropped. Well, she’s outta here."

Editorial writer Don Luzzatto told Lake: “I was really put off by her penchant for name-calling and ad hominem attack. I think we can do much better.”

Another editorial writer, Bronwyn Lance Chester, said: “I think she habitually mistakes shrill for thought-provoking and substitutes screaming for discussion. She’s an Asian Ann Coulter. I also think that, like Coulter, she says outrageous things just to get TV appearances and book deals. She’s the worst of what’s wrong with punditry today. She adds absolutely nothing to genuine political discourse.”

Unemployment rises in Ohio

Now you say that you're sorry
After being so untrue
Well you can cry me a river, cry me a river
Cry me a river, cry me a river
Cry me a river -
And I'll cry a river over you.

Going up! The new numbers are out and Ohio had more people out of work in October than any other state. The number of people shit out of luck went up from 354,000 in September to 373,000 in October, losing jobs in transportation, utilities, manufacturing and the hospital industry.


"Don't blame me - I voted for Kodos."

Heh
John Ashcroft's retirement card from the gang.

Partisan psycho butthole now working for CIA
No, the other butthole.

Until a few weeks ago, Patrick Murray was just another ambitious Capitol Hill staffer. As a top aide to Rep. Porter Goss, the Republican chairman of the House intelligence committee, Murray had a reputation as a sharp-tongued partisan lawyer. When Democrats on the committee asked the CIA for information, Murray would cut them off, reminding the agency that only requests backed by the Republican majority should be honored.

"He was just impossible," says one staffer who dealt with him. "He was sarcastic, snide and had this uncanny ability to push people's buttons."

One former CIA official told Newsweek that Murray leaned on him more than once to declassify information so he could use it to "embarrass the Democrats."

Morality and family values
Heartland hypocrites hooters.

For all their sanctimonious outrage over abortion, gay marriage and the Janet Jackson boob-a-thon, the 'real heart and soul of Merica' just can't get enough of their Playboy magazines, divorce decrees and those steamy television programs starring scantily-clad women.

Chief Justice Pubic Hair?
Roger Murdock: We have clearance Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector Victor?
Tower voice: Tower has radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur! Over.
Tower: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower: Roger, over.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Captain Oveur: Huh?

- Airplane!, 1980.

Douchebag of Liberty and traitor Boob Novak writes that both Clarence Thomas and 'Arkansas Project' sleazebag Ted Olson are both 'strongly favored' by conservatives for the chief justice position should the ailing William Rehnquist take a dirt nap.

Spice-girl and Ozzy
Lousy picture. I need to get some kind of photoshop program.

Those wacky Germans

Thieves have stolen scantily clad garden gnomes from a gnome peepshow in an eastern German amusement park, park manager Frank Ullrich said on Thursday.

"The gnomes display naked body parts -- the same ones you'd expect to see in a human peep show," Ullrich said of his missing stars.

The adults-only attraction at Dwarf-Park Trusetal, where visitors peep through keyholes to see the saucy German miniatures in compromising poses, was smashed open early on Thursday morning.

Ullrich said he feared the gnomes would not be traced.

GOP embarrassed by tax returns measure
Fucking sneaks busted.

Congress passed legislation Saturday giving two committee chairman and their assistants access to income tax returns without regard to privacy protections, but not before red-faced Republicans said the measure was a mistake and would be swiftly repealed.