I've tried something else with the new site links, but it didn't work. I don't think I'm going to get much help from Blogger since I'm using the free service, but I'll give them another try.
Surprisingly, 'brown for bullshit" was not even considered
Government officials are discussing the current five-color terra threat alert system to determine whether a higher level of risk should be added before a possible war with Iraq.
The talks were prompted by the belief of some in the misadministration that when we finally carpetbomb them evil mothf*ckers to hell if the U.S. takes military action against Iraq the threat level should be raised above orange to indicate an even greater risk of retaliation against Americans and U.S. targets overseas. But there is fear that raising the risk to the ultimate warning level - red, like the smirking gob of Squinty the Boilfaced Boozer - would do serious harm to an economy that's already in the crapper. - link.
March 15, 2003
Senator Asks FBI to Investigate Fake Iraq Document
The senior Democrat on the Senate Intelligence Committee asked the FBI on Friday to investigate fake documents the United States used as evidence to the United Nations of alleged Iraqi efforts to acquire uranium from Niger.
"As you know, the International Atomic Energy Agency has recently determined that some of the intelligence documents provided to it by the United States are forgeries," Sen. John Rockefeller said in a letter to FBI Director Robert Mueller.
Senate Intelligence Committee Chairman Pat Roberts said seemed to take it personally: "The bottom line is that the United States does not need this one piece of evidence to make its case against Iraq," lied the Kansas republican. "The implication of Senator Rockefeller's letter is that the intelligence community forged these documents to somehow bolster the case against Iraq. It just doesn't make sense that the U.S. government would forge documents and then not use them in its case or vouch for their authenticity." Smells like desperation, bunghole. - link.
Crusader Bunnypants Sees Little Hope U.S. Can Avoid War with Iraq
Shouting "woohoo!" and pumping his fist in the air, faux-cowboy Buckeroo Bonehead said on Saturday he saw little hope Iraq would disarm peacefully, bracing the American people for war ahead of an emergency summit with allies Britain and Spain.
The Smirking Squatter went on to say "We have a moral obligation to intervene where evil is in control. Today, that place is Iraq." Tomorrow, Amurka! - link.
Saturday morning: sitting in front of the computer, swilling coffee, watching a herd of deer frolicking in the front yard. The dogs have been banished since they rolled in something stinky last night, the cats are sleeping next to the fishtank, and the parrot is watching fishing shows on tv with the BF.
Usually in the movies now would be the time when all hell breaks loose.
Harsh Bush Letter Strains US-Turkish Relations
Diplomacy is for weenies!
A harsh letter to Turkey from our humble statesman the unelected pReznit Pinhead relaying the message, "We cannot take it anymore. Speed up the process of the note. Make your airspace available," received an equally harsh reaction from Ankara that in essence said, "The formation of the new government will be delayed, and the United Nations' decision will be awaited."
For the first time since they began, negotiations between the United States and Turkey regarding the Iraq operation are straining relations. The crisis triggered by Bush's letter to Justice and Development Party leader Recep Tayyip Erdogan took a more serious turn with a phone call from Erdogan to U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney. While Bush was sending an ultimatum, Cheney was reiterating the president's message, saying, "We cannot afford to wait for the second note."Due to heightened tensions between the parties, Erdogan held a surprise one-hour meeting with Prime Minister Abdullah Gul and Chief of General Staff Gen. Hilmi Ozkok to discuss a strategy for dealing with the U.S. attitude. - link.
March 14, 2003
This just in...
France welcomes Bush's 'words on the Middle East': "We could use a good laugh," say the French. - link
'What's worse? To lie about sex or to lie about war?'
Bill Maher: OK, but, you know, when you keep comparing Saddam Hussein to people - let's think about who Saddam Hussein really is and what's really going on in this country. I hear him compared to Hitler a lot. Except Hitler was taking over a lot of different countries in the '30s. Saddam Hussein doesn't even have all of his country. He doesn't have the North, he doesn't have the South. He's basically the mayor of Baghdad is what this guy is. We have him boxed in there. I don't know why we can't follow that line of reasoning to...
Ron Silver: I'll tell you why. Because that line of reasoning in a post-9/11 world is irrational. We were attacked on 9/11 not because Mohammed Atta was upset about greenhouse emissions. There was something else going on.
Bill Maher: Excuse me. Excuse me, we were attacked by a squad of Saudi Arabian hijackers working out of Spain, Germany, Pakistan and Kabul and by, that of course, I mean Iraq, right? - from the Wolf Blitzer Wargasmatron.
What Lord of the Rings engrish subtitle are you?
You think you're deep, tortured and misunderstood.
You're not, you're just incoherent and a bit
silly. Have another drink.
brought to you by Quizilla
Equal time, you f*cking whore!
"Rallying Around the Flag Online, " - propaganda puke-piece at the Washingtoon comPost.
Saddam is evil, dammit
"Rarely in the face of war has the leadership in this country - both the executive and the opposition - served it so badly." - from Smug President Has Painted U.S. Into a Corner, a NY Observer Editorial. Opposition: that's a good one!
And they were never heard from again
A classified State Department report expresses deep skepticism that installing a new regime in Iraq will foster the spread of democracy in the Middle East, a claim the ethically-challenged Emperor Snippy has made in trying to build support for his war.
The report, which has been distributed to a small group of top government officials but not publicly disclosed, says that daunting economic and social problems are likely to undermine basic stability in the region for years, let alone prospects for democratic reform.
[T]he argument has been pushed hardest by a group of officials and advisers who have been the leading proponents of going to war with Iraq. Prominent among them are Paul Wolfowitz and Richard Perle, chairman of the Defense Policy Board. "Well, once we win the war and then get re-elected {sic} who the f*ck cares?" an aide was heard to say. - link.
Doing it doggy-style
White House reporters have to have the quotes that they publish approved by the censors in the Rove/Fleischer office of White House Communications. Not only do the so-called reporters have to get approval before including the quotes in an article, the White House can alter the quotations and demand that they be printed as though they were the originals.
As a strategy, Rove and Fleischer have White House staff provide many interviews on "background" so that then they can force the reporters to submit to the White House censors any quotations that they want to actually print.
This admission by a Post reporter (from http://www.poynter.org/forum/?id=letters) further confirms that we have, in essence, a government controlled media operation mistakenly labeled as the White House Press Corps. - from BuzzFlash.
Ohhhhhh, Karl!!
George W. Queeg
"[T]hey are finally realizing that Mr. Bush is the wrong man to do the job. And more people than you would think - including a fair number of people in the Treasury Department, the State Department and, yes, the Pentagon - don't just question the competence of Mr. Bush and his inner circle; they believe that America's leadership has lost touch with reality.
"If that sounds harsh, consider the debacle of recent diplomacy - a debacle brought on by awesome arrogance and a vastly inflated sense of self-importance." - from Paul Krugman's column.
"You can support our troops without supporting the president."
- Trent 'Remember me??' Lott
U.S.-Backed Resolution Appears Doomed
**Talks on Iraq Will Continue Until Monday **
"A stunning diplomatic setback" for pReznit GameBoy and his closest partner, Tony 'Piddles' Blair.
In addition to the almost certain French veto and the possibility of a Russian one, misadministration officials said they were pretty damn sure they wouldn't even get what they call a "moral victory" - nine votes among the council's 15 member nations. Uhhhh, gee, guys, it's almost like God is telling you something, isn't it?
"It looks pretty grim," one senior administration official said. "But then that's what you get when you have a frickin' spoiled brat in charge, innit?" - link.
March 13, 2003
Cool stuff
Yeah, but 'progress' still sucks.
Tombs from the time of the Emperor Nero have been unearthed as the Vatican tries to clear space for an underground car park. Digging for the 300-space car park began months ago, but Vatican officials are now rethinking the project after the remains of the 2000-year-old necropolis were found. Among the graves is the tombstone of Nero's secretary, along with well-preserved urns and amphorae. - link. .....and....
Builders who were on the brink of using a digger to lay the foundations of a new housing estate have unearthed what may be the richest archaeological find in Scotland. It includes the well-preserved skeleton, sword and valuable adornments of an Iron Age warrior buried with full honours.
Experts who announced the discovery of the site described the grave as one of the most "valuable and exciting" to have been found. It is believed that only around 100 such ceremonial Iron Age burials took place in Scotland over 1000 years and, of those, only four had weapons lying alongside the skeleton. Ancient communities disposed of their dead in different ways and the majority of corpses in Iron Age Scotland were put in rivers, left on exposed platforms, or put up trees.
The Iron Age warrior is likely to have been a chief ruling the surrounding kingdom, and appeared to have been aged between 25 and 35 when he died around 200BC to 200AD. His sword had been placed in his hand and surrounding him were valuable toe rings, an ornate copper pin and glass beads. The artefacts indicate that he was a high-ranking powerful individual who would have been able to display great wealth. - link.
U.S. ponders name for likely war against Iraq
Operation Shitstorm?
"Among the pieces yet to fall into place in the likely war against Iraq is a name for it. So far, the buildup in the Persian Gulf has shared the umbrella moniker for the worldwide anti-terrorism campaign, Enduring Freedom.
"There are all sorts of rules for coming up with a name, involving many Pentagon offices. Commanders choosing the operation name for a war in Iraq have to balance security concerns with the message, says Conrad Crane, director of the U.S. Army Military History Institute.
'The naming tradition is rich and varied. It generally combines a commander's gut instinct with a computer database of possibilities, running names up the chain of command and hoping the result is memorable. At the end of the Vietnam War, the Defense Department issued guidelines on names. They must not be overly bellicose, offend good taste or a particular culture or ally, or employ exotic words, trite expressions or well-known commercial trademarks." - link.
Lessee....:Operation Pollnumbers
Infinite Oilbucks
Operation Elect W
Darth Rummy's Wet Dream
Iraq 'n' Let's Roll
Operation Pipeline....
Her: That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
Snausages!
"[W]ho can blame skeptical Americans for resorting to Canadians when their 'most trusted' and 'most watched' media are marching in lockstep to the drums of war? Whether it's showing CNN's Connie Chung accuse actor/activist Jessica Lange of 'betraying the troops' or yet another treacly report on how some soldier has 'three more reasons to fight for freedom' because his wife gave birth to triplets, U.S. media are a long way from presenting not only the whole picture, but even a fair one." - Antonia Zerbisias, courtesy of SmirkingChimp.com.
March 12, 2003
Yeah. Well I know who I'm gonna believe
The Pakistani government denied a claim by local politician Agha Murtaza Pooya today that Osama bin Laden had been captured, while the U.S. also disavowed the report.
"I just said he's in custody. I didn't say where he was captured or what," he told Reuters. "I said he's in custody. And in custody of those that are chasing him." Pooya said he heard of bin Laden's arrest from credible sources "who I have reasons to believe have never given me wrong information."
He added he believed news of the arrest was being held back to coincide with the start of military action against Iraq. "All I know is that one of the things under consideration is when the announcement should come - it's supposed to be timed with the attack between the 17th and the 18th (of March)." - link.
Bushies Threaten to Kill Independent Reporters in Iraq?
Courtesy of democrats.com:
The Pentagon has threatened to fire on the satellite uplink positions of independent journalists in Iraq, according to veteran BBC war correspondent Kate Adie. In an interview with Irish radio, Ms. Adie said that questioned about the consequences of such potentially fatal actions, a senior Pentagon officer had said: 'Who cares...they've been warned.' According to Ms. Adie, who twelve years ago covered the last Gulf War, the Pentagon attitude is 'entirely hostile to the the free spread of information'... She also warned that the Pentagon is vetting journalists according to their stance on the war, and intends to take control of US journalists' satellite equipment in order to control access to the airwaves.
Another guest on the show, war author Phillip Knightley, reported that the Pentagon has also threatened they "may find it necessary to bomb areas in which war correspondents are attempting to report from the Iraqi side." - Transcript here.
Quotes
"There's no name for the war yet. 'Operation Reelect Bush' doesn't quite do it." - Leno.
"Earlier this year Bush probably fantasized about the war as a gratifying Middle East bodice ripper in which our pint sized Fabio briskly ravished a pleading, yielding, and ultimately grateful Iraq. Instead, we have a bad porn film where Bush and the other guys are standing around looking embarrassed and shaking their dicks struggling to raise some wood for a mean, ugly whore with a heavy black moustache. And the American people are yelling from the sticky seats for Bush to get it on or go home." - Peter Lee.
"George W. Bush and, more importantly, those around him have taken the trust of the American people and smashed it in contempt. They have used our grief over the attacks of September 11th, 2001. They have abused our fear, our patriotic spirit, even our charitable nature and in doing so mocked the very foundation of our democracy. Frankly, George W. Bush is not clever enough to have planned any of this on this own. He has been led to drink from the River Styx by an assembly of the nastiest men and women, including some felons, ever to have populated a presidential round table..." - Jeff Koopersmith.
Iraq's "smoking gun" made with duct tape
A remotely piloted aircraft that the United States has warned could spread chemical weapons appears to be made of balsa wood and duct tape, with two small propellors attached to what look like the engines of a weed whacker. - link.
Darth Rummy insults, pisses off loyal ally
Asked whether the U.S. would go to war without "our closest ally," Don 'Warboner' Rumsfeld replied, "That is an issue that the 'president' will be addressing in the days ahead, one would assume."
The Brits covered up their fury with typical understatement, calling Rummy's comment "curious." But behind the scene, Downing Street went nuts and began ringing Pennsylvania Avenue, demanding an explanation. How could Rummy be so callous about "the special relationship" after Mr. Blair had stuck his neck out for President Bush and courageously put his career on the line, and after he had sent one-quarter of the British military to the Persian Gulf?Responding to Rummy's comments, one BBC commentator drily said that perhaps he was trying to be sensitive, but "as we all know, Donald Rumsfeld doesn't do sensitive very well." - Just when you thought there wasn't anybody left that could possibly hate us. From the Washington Post and the NY Times.
The White House Press Corps politely grabs its ankles
Talk about "cream of the press corps":
The Bush press conference to me was like a mini-Alamo for American journalism, a final announcement that the press no longer performs anything akin to a real function. Particularly revolting was the spectacle of the cream of the national press corps submitting politely to the indignity of obviously pre-approved questions, with Bush not even bothering to conceal that the affair was scripted.Appearing on Hardball later,
"If he's a cowboy he's the reluctant warrior, he's Shane...because he has to, to protect his family." "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wipe myself." - snipped from Matt Taibbi's column, here.
Journalists: missing in action
"[W]hile I read accounts during the election campaign describing George W. Bush as a calm, middle-of-the-road conservative and consensus builder, I somehow missed those stories suggesting that he would be the most radical right-wing president in American history. The press kept telling me what a great guy W was, so why has Mr. Nice Guy alienated every ally in the world?" - link. Don't get me started.
"In a World Gone Mad"
"You just look at the TV and see this guy who's supposed to be representing us and it just feels ridiculous": the Beastie Boys break a five-year silence to comment on the state of the world under pResident Evil:
You build more bombs as you get more bold
As your mid-life crisis war unfolds
All you wanna do is take control
Now put that Axis of Evil bullshit on hold.
Read more here.
March 11, 2003
King George calls for ban on filibusters
Der Fuhr The mandate-deprived pReznit Privilege called today for a ban on judicial filibusters and mandatory votes on all court nominations he "and future presidents" send to the Senate. But Dems say that's bullshit.
"Because that precedent stands in the way of their political ends, republicans now seek to deny their own words and their own actions," said Tom 'Isadora' Daschle, in a surprise display of testosterone-fueled verbiage. "They're here today to claim that the Constitution is threatened by the very same procedures that they themselves have employed. They're here today to claim the Constitution is going to be threatened by the very same powers that it grants."
But His Royal High-ness, the Hypocritical Hophead, unbelievably, laughably called on the Senate to get beyond the past. "I ask senators of both parties to come together and end the escalating cycle of blame and bitterness and to restore fairness, predictability and dignity to the process," the Court-Appointed Crackmonkey said. "And by that, I mean those stupid-head Demon-rats better get in line or else!" - link.
Compassionate...conservative...crappola
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) - A federal judge has refused to prohibit the U.S. government from potentially prosecuting two women with painful ailments whose doctors say marijuana is their only medical solace. In the first case of its kind, the two California medical marijuana users sued Attorney General Jesus John Ashcroft, seeking a court order allowing them to smoke, grow or obtain marijuana without threat or fear of federal prosecution. U.S. District Judge Martin Jenkins expressed sympathy for the women but said federal law required him to rule against them. - link.
"The satellites have picked up certain
bong use in this area. Tomorrow we raid!
Ain't that America
John Mellencamp questions Napoleon Bonehead's motives for a possible war against Iraq:
So a new man in the White House
With a familiar name
Said he had some fresh ideas
But it's worse now since he came
From Texas to Washington
And he wants to fight with many
And he says it's not for oil
- To download the complete track, go to www.mellencamp.com.
Comedy break
Pippin: What's wrong?
Sam: We've got a flat. We need to phone the Pony Express.
Strider: Oh for the love of God!
We now return to our regular crabbiness.
Fretard bushmoonie ditto-spank-monkeys miss irony in menu renaming
The cafeteria menus in the three House office buildings will change the name of "french fries" to "freedom fries." Ditto for "french toast," which will be known as "freedom toast."
The name changes were spearheaded by two xenophobic idiots with too much time on their hands republican lawmakers who actually held a news conference today to make the name changes official on the menus. "This action today is a small, but symbolic effort to show the strong displeasure of many on Capitol Hill with the actions of our so-called ally, France," said Rep. Bob Ney, R-F*cktard, the chairman of the Committee on House Administration, adding "phthththththth!" - link.
Blogger, please fix the damn templates!!
Britain: Drop Buckeroo Bonehead, not bombs
LONDON (Reuters) - The British public sees Generalissimo Jerkweed as a greater threat to world peace than Saddam Hussein, a new poll published on Tuesday showed. It also believes that as long as United Nations weapons inspectors can do a useful job in Iraq, it would be wrong for the United States and Britain to attack. - link. These are the Brits, not the perfidious French {/sarcasm}. What's next, boycotting the English language?
War whore
I took a page from stranger's book and documented a whole hour (5-6:00) of last night's Wolf Blitzer wargasm:
Take this job and shove it, part 2
Another U.S. diplomat resigned Monday in protest of the AWOL Warmonkey's preparations to attack Iraq, the second to do so in less than a month.
John H. Brown, who joined the U.S. diplomatic corps in 1981 and served in London, Prague, Krakow, Kiev, Belgrade and Moscow, said in a letter to Colin 'dammit!' Powell "I cannot in good conscience support president Bush's war plans against Iraq. Throughout the globe the United States is becoming associated with the unjustified use of force. The president's disregard for views in other nations, borne out by his neglect of public diplomacy, is giving birth to an anti-American century."
"Sh!t," the diplomat added, "War-happy assholes - it's like being trapped in the last reel of Dr Strangelove." - from here. Mostly.
Moral clarity
"If the president bombs Iraq, which he apparently plans to do, it will be in defiance of a U.N. vote, because only in terms of self-defense and you're attacked can you really attack under the U.N. charter. It will also be immoral, and how do you know what the Iraqis think? You think they'd rather be dead and have liberty? I mean, what is this liberty if you're going to send 3,000 missiles over in 48 hours, according to all the plans I've read? How many people are going to survive that?" - national treasure Helen Thomas, to WH spokes-tool and assistant potty-trainer Ari 'the Liar' Fleischer, 3/10/03.
"You can support our troops
without supporting the president."
- Trent 'I used to be somebody!' Lott
And another thing...
Q: The president has been reluctant to put forward any cost estimates on what the war might cost. But the Congressional Budget Office did so on Friday, suggesting the first month might cost $10 billion, and then $8 billion a month from there on out, until it's completed. But, surely, since the president has been talking so much about reconstruction and making sure that a proper democratic government is allowed to take hold in Iraq, that schools will be rebuilt, that kind of thing - the government must have some idea what the after cost might be?
Ari 'the Liar' Fleischer: Well, just as the president said at the news conference last week, that in the event hostilities begin, a supplemental will be sent up to the Congress that takes into account best estimates at that time about what costs could be. They would include various areas of reconstruction, as well as military operations. But unless that happens, I'm not in a position to speculate about what the cost could be.
Q: Why not?
Q: Why not? I mean, every time --
Ari: For all the reasons I've been --
Q: No, every time you guys put together --
Ari, doing what comes naturally: For all the reasons we've been giving for weeks on the same question.
Q: Every time you guys put together a domestic policy initiative, there's a cost estimate attached - even in its most preliminary phases.
Ari, prevaricating: Because the variables of war are totally different from the variables of a domestic cost estimate. If Saddam Hussein surrenders and Iraq disarms on the first day in the first hour, that has one dramatic impact on the price. {...as if...}
Q: Well, why not share the range? - link.
March 10, 2003
You broke it, you bought it, part 2
Allies who bankrolled most of the first U.S.-led war against Iraq in 1991 will almost certainly not help pay for a second one. A U.S.-led invasion without the blessing of the United Nations could add tens of billions of dollars to the hit the U.S. Treasury will take from the war and any postwar occupation mission. - link.
Coked, drunk, and stupid is no way to go thru life, son
Bush-the-slightly-smarter has told his brainless spawn, the unelected Emperor Snippy, that hopes of peace in the Middle East will be ruined if a war with Iraq were not backed by international unity. The former, actually-elected president's comments - from a speech at Tufts University in Massachusetts - reflect unease among the Bush cartel family at the way the drooling Dictator-tot is ignoring international opinion and overriding the institutions that his father sought to uphold. pReznit Poopypants, who is said never to forget even relatively minor slights, has alarmed analysts with the way in which he has allowed the real grownups senior misadministration figures such as Donald 'Warboner' Rumsfeld to aggressively criticise France and Germany. - link.
Don't tell me what to do! I'm preznit now! Who cares what you think!
Saint Duh-bya the Morally Bankrupt goes for the kill
Hey, "Mr" Fineman, explain this to me, please. And if you promise not to use the word 'sublime', I'll promise not to use 'cumstain' in any part of my description of you or your writing.
"Back in 1988 Saddam killed several thousand at once, in the town of Halabjah. Since then he's been carrying on the good work, but on a piecemeal basis. In fact, for all I know, since his 1988 spree, he may not have killed any more of his own citizens than George W. Bush did as Governor of Texas. When Mr. Bush became Governor in 1995, the average number of executions per year was 7.6. Mr. Bush succeeded in quadrupling this to a magnificent 31.6 per year. He must have had the terrible chore of personally signing over 150 death warrants while he was Governor. I suppose the advantage of killing Iraqis is that you don't have to sign a piece of paper for every one of them. Just one quick scribble and - bingo! You can kill a hundred thousand and no questions asked! What's more, nobody is going to quibble about some of them being mentally retarded or juveniles, which is what happened to George W. Bush when he was Governor of Texas." - Terry Jones. Yes, that Terry Jones.
