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E-mail
What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect ten?
Two five year olds.

How does the sheriff's department already know he's guilty?
Because several children have already fingered him.

What does Michael Jackson have in common with a Silver Medal winner?
They both come in a little behind.

- - thanks to MikeD.

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Must be the drugs talking
Rush Limbaugh yesterday claimed that the more than $300,000 he withdrew in cash was just "walking-around money," adding that he "knew who was responsible" for stories that he's being investigated for violating money-laundering laws.

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Jeebus
This one kept me up all night. How many grams of carbs are in the body of Christ?

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Meddling Jeb wants new trial over Terri Schiavo
'Jeb Bush is taking legal pot shots at the husband of a brain damaged woman who is at the center of a right to die case. Bush is saying there needs to be a jury trial on whether Terri Schiavo wanted to be kept alive artificially. The governor also wants Circuit Judge Douglas Baird removed from hearing the constitutionality of a new law, which was enacted to reinsert a feeding tube.'


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And speaking of terrorists...
Hi, remember us?

Nearly two years after the Taliban's supposed ouster from Kabul, a resurgence in its activities and cross-border operations have posed a new threat to Afghanistan and a new diplomatic challenge, Bush misadministration officials said this week.

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Iraq war dominates Time's Person of the Year award
Time staff on serious crack binge.

Squinty the Farting Chimp, Dick 'dick' Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, Colin Powell and worthless national security adviser Condoleezza Rice are all under consideration as poster child for the annual puke-of-the-year issue. Groping meatpuppet Arnold Schwarzenegger and alleged criminal/junkie/hatemongering blowhard Rush Limbaugh also made the cut somehow.

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Lawmakers defy Bush on media rules
In a stunning setback for the vacuous Dictator-tot - who doesn't read the papers and who gets his nooze from his neocon handlers - House and Senate negotiators last night defied a White House veto threat and agreed to a provision that would prevent the FCC from loosening rules on ownership of multiple media outlets.

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GW Bush, statesman
"In some cases, the measured use of force is all that protects us from a chaotic world ruled by force."

Bush calls on Europe to help rebuild Iraq, then proceeds to piss off France.

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US hawk admits invasion was illegal
Whoopsies! "I think in this case international law stood in the way of doing the right thing." - - neocon warmonger Richard Perle .

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Making the world safer, one suicide bomber at a time
Car bombs in Iraq leave at least five dead, and 15 people were killed in Istanbul when explosions hit the Turkish headquarters of a London-based bank and the British consulate. More than 300 were wounded in the attack which was blamed on al-Qaida.

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Stroke me, stroke me
Self-love platitudes just keep on coming

Vile pigboy Rush Limbaugh's "manly" self-stroke-fest leaves mouthbreathing dittomonkeys bewildered, anxious.

There oughta be limits to freedom, he mumbled
"Keep clear of the president!" barked one agent in a ball gown. "Don’t ask him any confusing questions! Intelligence is optional!" Reports and pics from the protests in London.




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Attack of the zombie alien hick stepford wife
Pic of the Queen of England being held captive by deranged chimp and disfigured robotronic mannequin. WTF is with Pickles' paws, anyway? At the very least, it looks like she's covering up some bizarre skin condition...

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Winning hearts and minds
A US lieutenant colonel went before a military hearing in Iraq yesterday charged with beating an Iraqi detainee and staging a mock execution to scare information out of him.

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Gee, you mean batter-dipped deep-fried chicken isn't good for you?
KFC has pulled a ad campaign in which it claimed fried chicken could form part of a healthy diet, following "an unprecedented public protest."


Image from Fark.

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Sanctimonious hypocrite to replace junkie/possibly criminal hypocrite at "prestigious" dinner
The Claremont Institute announced today that vile hate-monger Rush Limbaugh will not attend the Institute's annual Churchill Dinner on Friday, November 21 to pick up the Claremont Institute's Statesmanship Award. Bill "roll 'em!" Bennett will deliver the keynote address instead.

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So f**k you
Election officials have dismissed a complaint accusing Democratic fund-raiser Denise Rich of donating campaign money and furniture to Hillary Rodham Clinton in exchange for President Clinton's pardon of Rich's ex-husband (seen at the fretard site).

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Just in time for the holidays
The A Christmas Story Leg Lamp, yours for only $179.99.

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The fretards weigh in on the latest Rush scandal
"Because of 'THE BANK SECURITY ACT' this stupid crap is coming about! This is all about the PAPER WORK banks have to do because someone withdraws or deposits cash! If the banks are advising costumers or not reporting that is their fault not Rush's... Stupidassed, biased, croney, liberal press! Gov't burockracy at it's finest!"

"And who could [be trying to take Rush down}? Hmmmmmm, could HER initials be HRC???"

"I think it bill and hillary and their minions."

"Rush sounded pretty confident in his denial to me."

And my favorite:

"Whoever leaked this to ABC news should be sought out and prosecuted, if there is any law that covers such prosecutorial subterfuge."

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So nice and cool
Review of Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Special Extended Edition, with pics!


�

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Headline of the day
Wang Stirs the Pot.

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Mobile operators refuse to bar calls in Bush 'bubble'
Phone operators have refused to block anti-Bush protesters from using mobile telephones in Central London.

An emergency plan to create a mobile-free “bubble” for El Supremo Stupido was branded “hysteria” by Orange, the second-largest mobile phone provider.

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Assclown of the day
The award goes to CBS, who is giving Michael Jackson a TV special. Evidently CBS feels that a surgically-altered freak/child molester with a warrant issued for his arrest is less controversial than the Reagans. Kudos.