WTF Is It Now?!?

I got this today and it just cracked me up-

Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.
“Oh my!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?"
“Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
“What shall I do now?" she shouts.

"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and
continues hissing at the nuns.

"Now what?" shouts Sister Marilyn.
"Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.
"Now you're talking," says Sister Marilyn.

She opens the window and shouts, "Get the fuck off the car!"

F*cking nazis at work just sent me an “internet abuse” warning, so I’m pretty much f*cked. They’re discriminating against coffeeklatschophobes. It seems to be OK to stand around with your fellow slackjawed cuberats, squawking about the latest episode of ‘Friends’, but Heaven forbid you opt to spend your breaktime being informed, if somewhat antisocial. F*ck. As if I wasn’t cranky enough this morning. Note: does not work for postal service.

I report, you’re probably not reading this anyway:

You Can’t Spell ‘Liar” without A-R-I: - White House Propaganda Minister Ari Fleischer suggested that Preznit Pretzal deserves credit for any bill that passes. "If campaign finance reform is enacted into law, I believe that you can thank President George W. Bush, because he changed the dynamic of how this phony debate has finally ended in Washington, D.C.," Fleischer said. Captain Cowpie's spokesman was noncommittal about whether Chokin' Chester would sign the measure if it clears the Senate.(http://www.pilotonline.com/news/nw0213per.html) Excuse me, but WTF?????

Convicted Sex Offender Nearly Wins GOP Award - A previous commitment will keep a Suffolk man from traveling to Washington, D.C., to accept a Republican of the Year award: He's serving a 26-year state prison sentence. Spokesmen for the National Republican Congressional Committee acknowledged Tuesday that convicted sex offender Mark A. Grethen was invited to accept the award at its luncheon in March. Grethen, 44, was convicted last year of six sex crimes involving children -- two counts each of forcible sodomy, aggravated sexual battery and indecent liberties. His projected release date is Sept. 25, 2024. Hampton Pilot Online

GOP asks candidate‘s wife to stop supporting Democrats - The head of the California Republican party said he made a ''gentle appeal'' last month to Repuke gubernatorial candidate Richard Riordan's wife to stop supporting Democrats. Riordan's wife, Nancy Daly Riordan, is a Democrat. Boston.com

Is this a great country or what?!




If there were more people like him there’d be less people like him:

Rep. Steve LaTourette (R-Standup Guy) Says Ashcroft's FBI Coverup is 'Crap'

Roll Call reports, "Rep. Steve LaTourette's (R-Ohio) frustration over the Bush administration's refusal to hand over documents about FBI malfeasance boiled down to a blunt message: 'The conclusion reached by the Justice Department is crap.' : Last week the four-term Republican launched a sprawling tirade during a full Government Reform Committee hearing called to examine why the White House has invoked executive privilege in refusing to turn over internal Justice Department documents that may shed light on FBI corruption in Boston. 'I wish I could be more artful, but I'm pissed off by the posture you put this committee in,' LaTourette [said]. ‘It's an embarrassment to me as a Republican.'" Democrats.com

ha ha ha ha ha!