March 27, 2002

In Other News:

New Adult Diaper Guaranteed to Withstand Red Alert Announcements
Arthur Andersen Client List Down to Gambino, Lucchino Families
Ridge Demands to Be Referred to as "Der Homel√ľnder"
Can You Shut Your Damn Dog Up, Or Do I Have to Shove the Hairy Little Bastard Up Your Ass?
New Relationship Resets Britney's Virginity Odometer
Saints Trade 1st-Round Draft Choice for Magic Beans
(- - The Daily Probe)

*Opening pic: "Jaffa", @ Maru

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