March 22, 2002

*

'Nads on Display

Down an alley off Reykjavik's main shopping street, travelers will find an odd example of one man's life work, the Icelandic Phallological Museum, more commonly referred to as the penis museum. Sigurdur Hjartarson, a high school history teacher, erected the museum in 1997, after collecting dozens of penises from the various mammals of his
homeland.

Hjartarson gladly bestows on visitors penile pearls of wisdom acquired during his quest to acquire a complete collection. "I have a bone from a hamster, it's less than two millimeters," he said. "Every species has a different shape and form and that should make it interesting." In addition to the hamster organ, the display includes penises from skunks, rams, dolphins, and horses as well as an impossible-to-miss penis from a killer whale, which in its flaccid state measures six feet (2 meters) long.

Tanned penises dangle from rope, dried penises are hung like trophies on the wall, while pickled penises adorn shelves and fill large specially designed Lucite cases.

For visitors' viewing pleasure, many of the items are displayed under the light of ram testicle lamps created by Hjartarson.
---Yahoo News


Today in History:

1882 Congress outlawed polygamy.
1895 Auguste and Louis Lumiere showed their first movie to an invited audience in Paris.
1933 during Prohibition, President Roosevelt signed a measure to make wine and beer containing up to 3.2 percent alcohol legal.
2002 Rare sighting of Democratic genitalia in Washington DC


In other news, the Smirking Simpleton is asking for 27.1 billion dollars for his terra war. Oh just great - what now, are they adding new shades on his color-coded alert chart? How ingenious! How effective! We're a global laughingstock! I know: add brown - it would be sooooo apropos.

No, wait - maybe the extra money will be used to hush up those who are saying the anthrax attacks were caused by someone who worked for the CIA or the Defense Department. Huh - we really don't hear much about the anthrax "investigations", do we? I wonder why that is?

Captain Cowpie also asked Congress on Thursday for an additional $29 million to help Colombia "combat terrorist kidnappings and expand the reach of its police to areas previously not under government control." This is on top of the hundreds of millions in U.S. anti-drug funds we're already giving them - but there's more: included in the request is $25 million to provide "critically needed training and operational assistance for counter-kidnapping training for the Colombian armed forces and police units." --- (Yahoo News)

What they're not saying is that Columbia has oil. The Cano Limon pipeline is buried 6ft underground, but its route is clearly marked by oil slicks and scorched earth - the result of incessant bomb attacks by the rebels. Since it was completed in 1985, the pipeline has been holed so many times that locals call it "the flute". The attacks reduced by $75m the profits of Occidental Petroleum - an enthusiastic supporter of US military aid to Colombia. Now the US government is seeking congressional approval for $98m to provide helicopters, equipment and training for a new Colombian army brigade to guard it.
(more at The UK Guardian)


Being repukes, the preferred targets are either missing or undeveloped, so the EU finds the next best thing. The European Union is making plans to retaliate against pResident Bunnypants' recent imposition of steel tariffs by hitting the Grand Hypocrisy Party where it hurts the most: at the ballot box. Many of the targeted industries are concentrated in states such as Florida, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and West Virginia, which the Simian Sockpuppet battled for in his stolen election. These states figure prominently in the White House's effort to retain control of the House of Representatives in the fall elections.

EU Trade Commissioner Pascal Lamy, who is preparing the hit list, said his strategy is to get the White House to change course by hurting regions and companies the BFEE** needs politically.
--- (MSNBC.com) - - Hey, don't they understand there's a war on?!

Speaking of which, Iraq has pissed off Washington by asking the United Nations to look into the U.S. threats to topple President Saddam Hussein. How dare they! Don't they realize they're part of the Axis of Evil and therefore must be destroyed by more compassionate, freedom-loving nations?!


'Nads on Display, part II

Senate Democrats and repugnicans are on a collision course over Sen. Joe Lieberman's decision to subpoena key Enron officials regarding their dealings with the Unelected Idiot's White House.

Lieberman, the Connecticut Democrat who chairs the Senate Governmental Affairs Committee, plans to pursue the subpoenas this week in an effort to probe possible improper dealings. But Senate repukes strongly oppose the subpoenas as an "unwarranted fishing expedition". Of course they do. I mean, it's not like it's another Whitewater!

Lieberman's move comes at a time when Democratic activists and some members of his caucus are pushing for more aggressive scrutiny of the failed energy giant's political influence, especially its clout with the Drinky McDumbass administration. Sources close to the situation say that Sen. Fred Thompson (R-Tenn.), the ranking member on the committee, wants the probe to exclude current members of the administration and possibly even Sen. Phil Gramm's wife (R-Texas) Wendy, who served on Enron's board of directors.

Many Senate Democrats support taking a close look at the White House. Some even say that Democrats have not been critical enough of the Pretzalabuser's administration. Sen. Fritz Hollings (D-S.C.), the chairman of the Commerce Committee, which has been one of several panels investigating Enron, said Democrats need to be more outspoken. "[Constituents] really started giving me the business at home", Hollings said.

- - - much more at The Hill News, and about time, too.


'Nads on Display, part III

House members took aim Thursday at the Connecticut Cowpie's Cuba policy, calling for an easing of the trade embargo and an end to restrictions on travel to Cuba by Americans.

Rep. William Delahunt, D-Mass., said it was an anomaly for the government to bar most Americans from visiting Cuba while allowing them to visit Iran and North Korea.

"By my calculation that's two-thirds of the axis of evil," Delahunt said, referring to the description of Iran, Iraq and North Korean by pReznit Pretzal in his State of the Union address.
- - - LOL! - - - -from LJWorld.com


Arianna Huffington hands out the Political Oscars!

Best Performance in a Drama: Tom Wilkinson as the grief-stricken father in "In the Bedroom"
Worst: Jeffrey Skilling as the amnesia-stricken Enron exec in "In the Senate Hearing Room"

Best Art Direction: "Moulin Rouge's" swirling, eye-candy color scheme
Worst: Tom Ridge's confusing terror alert color scheme

Most Amusing Portrayal of a Ditzy Airhead: Reese Witherspoon turns Harvard Law School on its ear in "Legally Blonde"
Least Amusing: House Speaker Denny Hastert -- third in line to the presidency -- fails to say or do a single thing of interest in "Legally Bland"

Best Response to Charges of Anti-Semitism: "A Beautiful Mind's" John Nash's explanation that he was having schizophrenic delusions
Worst Response: "The Nixon Tapes'" Billy Graham's explanation that his anti-Jewish rants "do not reflect" his "views"

Best Special Effect: Daniel Radcliffe using the Invisibility Cloak to make himself disappear in "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone"
Worst: Tom Ridge using the Technicality Cloak to avoid appearing before Congress

Most Image-Altering Performance Movies: Halle Berry's star-making turn in "Monster's Ball," changing her rep from mere beauty to serious artist
Politics: Rudy Giuliani's star-making turn in "Monsters Attack Manhattan," changing his rep from narcissistic adulterer to America's hero

Most Regrettable Act of Censorship
Movies: A shot of Britney Spears flashing her bare breasts in "Crossroads" ends up on the cutting room floor for fear of an R rating
Politics: Attorney General John Ashcroft demands that curtains be placed across the bare breasts of a Justice Department statue during his press conferences for fear of distracting reporters from the even bigger boob standing in front of them

- - - more at Arianna Online!


*Opening pic: Torres Del Paine, Patagonia - © Larry Carver
**Bush Family Evil Empire


I'll be right back - gotta grab something to eat and put one of the dogs out. Stay tuned!


















No comments: