WTF Is It Now?!?

Happy friggin' Monday.

It galls me how the whore media is trumpeting the Israeli two-step as a 'victory' for Drinky McDumbass, who has done absolutely nothing but dither, carp, blather, waffle, and delegate. Poor Colin Powell must be steaming, but that's what he gets for trying to prop up that miserable incompetant nincompoop. Fun Fact: Israeli forces poured back into Hebron in the West Bank early this morning. So where's your god now, whore media?

**THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED, BUT DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH.**



Quotes!

"With their towel-snapping, frat-boy-style gloating over the coup in Venezuela, the media made it clear why they regarded counting the votes in Florida in Election 2000 to be superfluous." - Charles Utwater II, in "the Culture of Lies", at AmPol - a great read.

[Crusader Bunnypants] "has joined Mr. Ashcroft in pumping up the volume of his preening sanctimony, referring to the Almighty so frequently that He is becoming his de facto running mate for 2004." - the always pithy Frank Rich in "Religion for Dummies" at the NY Times.

"[Arafat] hasn't earned my respect yet. He must earn my respect by leading," - the Simpering Nincompoop, in another remarkable display of cluelessness and vapidity.




North Korean Leader Kim Jong-il Invites Twice-Elected, Legitimate President Clinton to 'Cool the Rhetoric' from Warmonger Bunnypants

"North Korean leader Kim Jong-il has invited former U.S. President Bill Clinton to visit Pyongyang to play a mediating role and to cool the rhetoric from Washington, a North Korean official said on Monday. The official, speaking on condition of anonymity, declined to specify whether the reclusive Kim had issued the invitation to Clinton before or after President [sic] George W. Bush's speech in January in which he branded North Korea part of an 'axis of evil' along with Iraq and Iran. 'The plan of the Dear Leader Kim Jong-il is that Mr. Clinton should end the rhetoric,' the official said." What a sorry commentary on Bu$h's failure in foreign policy! - thanks to democrats.com!




On this date:

1429 A true leader, Joan of Arc, entered the besieged city of Orleans to lead a victory over the English.

1992 deadly rioting erupted in LA after a jury in Simi Valley, Calif., acquitted four Los Angeles police officers of almost all state charges in the videotaped beating of Rodney King. 10 years later Daddy's Little Doofus celebrates the anniversary by threatening an expanded role for religious groups in government social programs, and opening an unprecedented two-day fund-raising swing for a California candidate the White House once opposed. The Connecticut Clodhopper is also stopping en route in New Mexico to raise money for Sen. Pete Domenici and Rep. Heather Wilson.

Does this bozo ever do any real work??


Word of the Day: Bane - Speeches were the bane of Squinty the Pinhead's existence; he hated having to stand up in front of a crowd - even a fawning audience of brownnosed, bootlicking whore media.


In Other News:

Vatican: Church Announces Tough Policy on Pedophilia
Will take effect "some time next summer."

U.S. Negotiator Exits Early From Arms Reduction Talks with Russia
Wants to spend more time with his family.

French astronaut ignores space tourist

Global Population Growth Slowing For First Time in History
Experts cite birth control, proliferation of sports channels.

TV: Springer to Start "Jerry's Book Club"
Each month's selection will be used by guests to hit each other.

Trains running on time in France

CORRECTION: Last week we erroneously stated that the EPA had enacted new rules protecting the environment from coal mining companies. In fact, the new rules protect the coal mining companies from environmentalists. We apologize for the confusion.

Mr Politics Weighs In on 2004 Election: Lots of speculation about who the Dems will put up against Dubya in '04. One bit of Beltway blather goes this way: Gore drops out after the straw polls, a Draft Hillary movement fizzles, leaving a compromise ticket of Tom Daschle and Magic Johnson. Another scenario has Bob Kerrey and John Kerry running together as a homonym honeymoon. My personal favorite is an all-Kennedy ticket of rotating Kennedy family members (except Schwarzenegger, a Republican, and the Skakel kid).

All this hinges on whether we go back to holding democratic elections. Don't forget to vote, if it's legal in your area.



Repukes could face major losses, run on Kaopectate this fall

Party leaders are worrying that the Party of Enron, War and Destruction's eight-year domination of governorships could end this fall, and they fear such a turn would carry serious consequences for other repukes in November and maybe even - gasp! hinder the Warmongering Wonderchimp's re-election drive in 2004. Please, God.

Many repugs are even predicting that considerable losses for the party in November are inevitable, particularly in the Midwest, which for nearly a decade has been a stronghold for rightwing neonazis.

Of the 36 governor's offices at stake this year, 23, or nearly two-thirds, are held by the Graft/Oil/Pedophilia party. Officials concede that they could lose governorships in Michigan, Illinois and in Wisconsin. Polls show that repuds also face daunting battles in Pennsylvania, Tennessee, New Mexico, Arizona, Kansas and Rhode Island - all states with repuke governors. Boo-fucking-hoo. Dickheads.




A pissed-off Aaron Brown declares in a memo to bosses last week: "I am the face of CNN!"

The once-respected nooze channel slips further into degradation, infamy.

Brown had a hissy after news directors forced him to air "breaking news" of the Robert Blake arrest - coverage Brown labeled overplayed.

"There is news to report on the Middle East. There's been an awful train derailment in Florida, but the Blake case is breaking...," Brown told viewers in frustrated tones. "The program we planned, which deals with a number of important environmental issues, is going to wait for another day."

A behind-the-screens struggle between Brown and management centers on control over news coverage, sources familiar with the situation reveal, and a high level meeting over the deepening Brown resentment was convened last week at CNN. Well, nanny/dominatrix Karen "Uncle Miltie" Hughes is looking for a new job...



Friday Night on Crossfire

Paul Begala: [bush] said something that I thought was staggering. He did not say we have a strategic relationship with the Saudis, which we do. He did not say we have a complicated relationship with the Saudis, which we do. He said, and I quote, "we share a vision." Now, I'm wondering, is that the vision of no democracies, no free election, no free speech, no women's rights? That may be Bush's agenda and his vision, I don't know. What in the world do you suppose he means when he says we share a vision with the Saudis?

Jim Zogby the president of the Arab American Institute: Well, I can't account for the guy who spoke to "The New York Times" and I have trouble accounting for what George Bush says, too, but that's another story.

Paul Begala: I can solve the Middle East in two words, "replace Bush." Then we'd be on a path to peace, believe me.

Repuke consultant Charles Black: Well, why is it then that the elected Democratic leaders of Congress are essentially in agreement with the president? They clearly support in the war on terrorism. And they basically support the same approach to the Middle East as he does.

Paul Begala: They certainly don't support him on fiscal policy. In today's deficit numbers of "The New York Times" report and all the other media reported today, that the federal budget deficit under Bush, his first budget, is going to come in $140 billion in the red. Bad news for your party, bad news for our country. But particularly, this guy inherited the greatest surplus in history, made it into deficit. I thought he'd be good at inheriting things, given that he's a Bush, but he couldn't even pull that off.