WTF Is It Now?!?

Puh. The power finally came back on, and now I'm ready to go to bed.


Lacking leadership experience, Preznit Goober "shows his true personality": lazy-ass 'diplomacy', insulting Mexican President Vicente Fox, dressing as a rube to host a crown prince

The Inarticulate Idiot is exercising folksy, one-on-one diplomacy with world leaders. Crowded state dinners - where he'd have to make a real effort to appear even slightly intelligent - are out. Intimate talks at the Camp David retreat or his Texas pig farm, Bunnypants Bunker - where it's easier for his nursemaids to paper over the damage - are in.

Five heads of state have been invited to hang out like this with Hopalong Noodlehead, including the latest, Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar. He goes to Camp David on Friday, hoping that this time the Unelected Idiot will remember his name. Squinty the Chimp's handlers have planned only a private meeting Friday night and a quiet breakfast Saturday morning. The rest of what he and Aznar do, according to White House aides, will be impromptu, but aides speculate Daddy's Little Doofus will show his new amigo his Pokemon trading cards and his fire engine with the lights that work.

Last month the Moron of Midland hopped in his truck and drove Saudi Arabia's Crown Prince Abdullah on a bumpy tour of the pig farm. He gleefully reported that they spotted a wild turkey. The prince could not be reached for comment, as he had fled the scene faster than Gary Bauer at a Playmates convention. Barb's Little Baboon whined like the spoiled brat he is when an aide insisted that he greet Abdullah in a business suit. "I'll be the only man in America wearing a suit on a ranch," he grumbled. "Gee whiz."

He complied with the dress code, but accessorized Tex-ass-style. The Clueless Cornpone's big silver belt buckle and cowboy boots were a stark contrast to Abdullah's flowing robes. "What a dork!" whispered one of the prince's aides. "Can you believe this guy? It looks like he's trying out for the lead in Oklahoma!"



At least he didn't tell the damn trifecta jike again

The Toxic Tinhorn marked the National Day of Prayer with hilarity. "Today, along with millions of Americans, we pray for nothing less than a spiritual awakening in America and an unprecedented unity in Congress," said Lloyd Ogilve, the chaplain in the Senate, which Democrats narrowly control and where several bush proposals have stalled. The resident's chortle could be heard above the rest of the laughter in the room. Yeah, keep laughing, dumbass. What you're doing to this country is a f*cking laugh-riot, dickwad.


One Year Ago Today: The United States lost its seat on the U.N. Human Rights Commission for the first time since the commission was formed in 1947. Thank you, pResident Evil.


You can't fight in here - this is the War Room!

Buckeroo Bonehead's hopes of building a strong insurgent group to replace Iraqi President Saddam Hussein have been set back by feuding among U.S. officials over who should lead the opposition. Administration sources say a fight between moderates in the State Department and conservatives in the White House and Pentagon has killed plans for a conference of Iraqi dissidents in Europe this summer and has prompted a cutoff of funds for a rival anti-Saddam group. That leaves the Impotent Impotentate with the option of ordering a U.S. invasion of Iraq, which U.S. allies in the Arab world strongly oppose. The administration feud is likely to further weaken Arab support for any action against Saddam, particularly at a time when concerns in the region are focused on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Signs of the administration feud surfaced this week with word that the State Department has cut off funds for the Iraqi National Congress (INC), a dissident group based in London backed by conservatives in the Defense Department and Vice President Cheney's office. A spokeswoman for Defib Dick denies that his aides had a role in canceling the conference. Well, that's good enuff for me! [/sarcasm]


Quotes

'"Who lost the surplus?' is the wrong question. The right question is whether the Bush administration has any plan to return to a balanced budget, let alone to honor George W. Bush's promise to use the Social Security surplus to pay down debt. And the answer is no." - Paul Krugman in the NY Times.

"Bush offered up what has in recent months become his all-purpose escape clause: "I want to remind you what I told the American people, that if I'm the president--when I was campaigning, if I were to become the president, we would have deficits only in the case of war, a recession, or a national emergency." Bush, somewhat morbidly, plays this line for laughs in his speeches, chuckling, "Never did I realize we'd get the trifecta." But this escape clause is not only a falsehood; it's actually a revision of a previous falsehood, which itself was consciously designed to cover up the fact that the budget is in far worse shape than Bush lets on." - Jonathan Chait in the New Republic.

"It is impossible to overstate the importance of tossing George W. Bush back onto the unemployment lines in 2004. His illegitimate presidency isn't even half-over, yet Bush's disreputable cabinet of tin-pot gangsters has already succeeded in causing irreparable harm to our great nation. This inferior man, a dimwitted former cheerleader who as the do-nothing governor of Texas allotted a full 15 minutes to deciding whether or not to sign death warrants has presided over the greatest systemic dismantling of the American Dream since the disastrous reign of Herbert Hoover." - Ted Rall

"If President Bush's goal is to make the United States a safer country, he's got an odd way of doing it. In a desperate attempt to trim the budget and minimize the projected $100 billion deficit, the Bush administration has slashed by 93 percent a Department of Energy (DOE) request for $379 million to better secure America's storehouse of nuclear weapons and waste -- the number one item on every terrorist's shopping list. What makes this latest bit of budgetary bloodletting particularly confounding is that it strikes at the heart of the president's highest priority. 'Nothing,' he proclaimed, 'is more important than the national security of our country. Nothing is more important.' Well, apparently something must be." - Arianna Online


Stop it, you're killing me!: The Fraudulent Fratboy accused Senate Democrats today of "endangering the administration of justice in America" by balking at many of his judicial nominees. Well, pick ones that aren't religious right-wingnut neonazis, you idiot!