WTF Is It Now?!?

HEY TURD BLOSSOM - WHAT'S THIS THING WITH "DUMBASS" WRITTEN ALL OVER IT?
"...the most striking object in the room was a blue screen that had been set up as background for the cameras. On it was emblazoned the phrase 'Corporate Responsibility' - not once but something like fifty times. It was as if a stern schoolteacher had ordered some naughty boy to write it on the chalkboard, over and over again." - From The New Yorker.



QUOTE FROM CAP'N CLUELESS
"I've got great confidence in the vice president. When I picked him, I knew he was a fine business leader and a fine experienced man." - Bunnypants, at a pressbootlicking today.

He went on to say that he was confident the Securities and Exchange Commission's investigation of Halliburton would show Dick "Chicanery" "Chickenshit" Cheney did nothing wrong while serving as chief executive.

Funny, I was thinking the same thing.



IN OTHER NEWS:
Bush Administration Has Another Good Week
Nobody accused of murder.

Ex-WorldCom Execs Take 5th
Won't answer question, "Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Republican Party?"

Federal Funding Cut Off at 33 Toxic Waste Dumps
"We're hoping they'll just go away," says EPA spokesman.

Fans, Furious With Baseball, Threaten Action
Some plan to get up from the couch.



LIVE AND LET FLY
When it comes to "Austin Powers," Mike Myers pays close attention to every detail -- even the sounds of farting dolls. That's according to toy maker Jamie Wirt, who helped make a doll version of the gaseous Fat Bastard character who appears in the upcoming "Austin Powers In Goldmember."
Besides having final approval for which Fat Bastard phrases were used in the doll, Myers was a stickler for which farting sounds would make the final cut. In fact, Myers rejected quite a few stinkers until settling on three farts and a burp he felt best conveyed the Fat Bastard character.

Sadly, one line that Myers specifically requested -- "I didn't know I had corn last night" -- was cut from both the doll and the script at the last minute.

Wirt doesn't know what Myers thinks of the final product but he hopes the comedian thinks it's a gas. - From Wireless News.