WTF Is It Now?!?

IN OTHER NEWS:
A jury in New York City recently awarded $14.1 million to a 38-year-old woman who was badly maimed after she was hit by a subway train after lying down purposefully on an underground track in a probable suicide attempt. According to a New York Law Journal report summarized in a June New York Times story, the jury found that the train conductor, who had already slowed to 15 mph following a report of someone lying on the tracks, should have been going slower. (The judge lowered the award to $9.9 million after finding that it was 30 percent the woman's fault.)

Imprisoned Brazilian drug king Fernandinho Beira-Mar somehow arranged for a shoulder-launched anti-aircraft misssile to be delivered to his cell at Bangu One prison before the government confiscated it - Both from News of the Weird.

The National Organization of Genitalia Confrontation held their annual nude olympics in Minnesota on Monday. The oddest, and most painful looking, event was the tug of war competition: yipes! (Not safe for work).


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"Protecting Americans from attack is our most urgent national priority and we must act on the priority," Preznit Dumbass, in his 'national homeland security strategy' speech today, as the Dow dropped 62 points.