August 27, 2002


Bush "Can't Attend" Earth Summit
Has "more important matters" to attend to.

Secret Court Says Unnamed FBI Agents Lied to Covert Commission
Nobody knows who's telling what to whom, says anonymous source, speaking off the record.

President Outlines His "Common Sense" Policy on Forest Fires
If there are no trees, there can be no forest fires, he explains.

Bush Gives Simon Big Boost in California
Promises to pardon him.

Help Dick Cheney get from his bunker to a meeting with his lawyers at the White House while avoiding the Washington Post, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and CNN!

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