WTF Is It Now?!?

'WATCH ME! WATCH ME SWING AT THE BALL!'*
Crawford, Texas: George of the Bungle's nanny, Karen Hughes, was back at his side on Tuesday, less than a month after leaving the White House to return home to Texas. "Crap - and not a moment too soon," she said. "Little f*ckwad needs a good bitchslapping over that stupid performance on the golf course last week. "Now watch this drive' my ass! I really have to talk to Karl about keeping all those damn reporters in a First Amendment Zone. Christ."

Hughes planned to attend Bunnypants' economic photo-op next week in Waco and to try to keep him out of further trouble in trips later that week to Wisconsin, Iowa and South Dakota. "God, what a clueless putz," she sighed. "Oh, sorry - did I say that out loud? Shit."

*Thanks to elaine in the buzzflash mailbag for the quote!





BOB BARR: BOOM!
ATLANTA (AP) - An antique .38-caliber pistol accidentally discharged as it was being handled by Rep. Bob "Bonehead" Barr during a reception in his honor. The bullet hit a glass door, and no one was hurt.

"Nobody was in any danger. We were handling it safely, except that it was loaded," said Bruce Widener, an independent lobbyist. "I am thankful Bob was careful to always keep the weapon pointed in a safe direction." Yeah, swell.

Barr, too busy cleaning the shit out of his drawers, said through a spokesman: "This accident only underscores the importance of proven gun safety measures, especially when owning and handling antique firearms." - From yahoo news.




HEEB MAGAZINE: LIEBERMAN A 'DICKHEAD'
Heeb's 80-page second issue, published last month, lays out exactly why Lieberman's a dickhead: Because as senior member of the Senate Armed Services Committee, he has pushed for a huge spike in military spending. - From a short piece in the Village Voice.




WHOA!
"Richard Dawkins, an Oxford science don, suggested Mr Bush was just as much of a danger to world peace as Saddam Hussein, adding: 'It would be a tragedy if Tony Blair were to be brought down through playing poodle to this unelected and deeply stupid little oil-spiv.'" - Brian Whitaker, in The Guardian.