WTF Is It Now?!?

"HELLO? HELLO? AH KNOW YOU'RE THERE, AH KIN HEAR YOU BREATHIN'. HELLO?"
WASHINGTON (Reuters/wtf) - Napoleon Bonehead today attempted to persuade France, Russia and China to back his goal of ousting Saddam Hussein as he prepped for a U.N. speech next week.

Poppy's Little Poophead called French President Jacques Chirac, Russian President Vladimir Putin and Chinese President Jiang Zemin, who all have questioned any pre-emptive military strike on Iraq. Each call lasted about 10 minutes, officials said.

Pooty-poot earlier in the week had told the Ignorant Impotus to take a hike. The Kremlin said Putin told British Prime Minister Tony Blair by phone that he had "deep doubts that there are grounds for the use of force in connection with Iraq," and that the use of force could have "serious, negative consequences for the situation in the Gulf region, the Middle East and for the future of the U.S.-led anti-terrorism coalition."

Chirac told Bunnypants the U.N. Security Council should decide what action to take if Baghdad rejected the return of U.N. weapons inspectors, not unindicted Halliburton CEO and warmonger chickenhawk Dick "dick" Cheney.

It has not been reported what came out of the talk with China, but an identified source tells us Jiang, during the phone call, donned a cowboy hat and repeatedly stuck his index finger down his throat.