January 25, 2003

My fella Amer'cans, the state of our union is crap. But you can count on unca Dick in his secret underground bunker/Hooters franchise an' me toodlin' around in my bombproof golfcart at Rancho Boguso to protect America from terr'rist groups, outlaw regimes, an' those damn pesky obstructionating Democrats in the Senate.

As long as Rummy doesn't pull a Jack D. Ripper.

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