WTF Is It Now?!?

Unca Dick, where's my crayolas?
pReznit Poopypants is taking his box of crayons thick Sharpie pen to the first draft of his handlers' State of the Union address (scheduled for January 28), determined to justify war with Iraq while outlining a domestic policy agenda geared toward re-election, CNN is reporting.

"The president believes that State of the Unions should be about big things. This State of the Union will describe his vision of what role the United States should play in the world, how to bring help to the American people who need help and compassion, and how to strengthen the economy," White House spokes-tool Ari Fleischer said with a straight face, apparently addressing a group of kindergartners.

An early draft clearly outlines Drinky McHappycrack's bold, morally clear, statesmanlike proposals, if you ignore the doodles of Dick Gephardt being strafed by fighter jets: Saddam is hiding weapons of mass destruction, has ties to terrorist groups and is an imminent threat to the United States.

He also will try to explain why he is preparing for war against a dictator who may not have a nuclear weapon while sticking to diplomacy in North Korea, which has at least one nuclear bomb and could soon make more.

SOTU Fun: Count how many times he says "nookuler"!