WTF Is It Now?!?

Ari's Tuesday press f*cking
Reporter: [W]hy are 'the president' and Prime Minister Blair meeting at Camp David this week rather than at the White House?

Ari 'the Liar' Fleischer: I think they're meeting at Camp David just because it's a very good place to kind of sit down in a more informal atmosphere and to have discussions. {Informal atmosphere. During a war. As our troops are getting killed.} If you recall, Prime Minister Blair came here before for a visit that was supposed to take place at Camp David and it ultimately got canceled because of the weather, and it was held here in its entirety. So there is a little bit of makeup for that. {Because Chimpy McSquirtypants had such a temper tantrum when he was forced to cut last weekend's visit short, we had to promise him we'd let him come back real soon.}

Reporter: Ari, yesterday the U.S. decided to grant one of Halliburton's subsidiaries the contract to put out the oil well fires. And I'm wondering, given that you've known that for months and months in advance that there could be the possibility of oil well fires, why was there not a bid put out to bid on contracts, and was this given without any bidding?

Ari 'the Squirrel' Fleischer: I think you need to address any questions about contracts and bids to the agencies that award the contracts and bids.

Reporter: Is the White House at all worried about the perception, at least even if there is no conflict of interest, but the perception of a conflict of interest, given the Vice President --

Ari 'Serial Liar' Fleischer: I think the question that people want answered is, do we have a plan in place to put out the oil fires, and is it a good plan to put out the oil fires. {No, that's NOT IT!!!}

Reporter: So just awarding it to one company, without --

Ari 'the Lying Squirrel' Fleischer: Again, I'm not familiar with the exact contracting and grants. And so I think - I don't know if the premise of your question is accurate. You need to talk to the granting authorities, not the White House. {......}