TRANSLATING PENTAGONESE: Black Humor from the War Zone
A handy guide to the terminology being used by the Pentagon to help the average American 'understand' the war in Iraq:
COALITION: The U.S., Britan, and Australia with a few Easter Islanders and Estonians thrown in.
ALLIED EFFORT: Having Britain do all the dirty work and pick up the tab for the humanitarian aid the US keeps promising to send to Iraq.
FOG OF WAR: 1. The excuse for anything that goes wrong, including shooting women and children at a checkpoint in a secured area; 2. The smokescreen created by war coverage that hides everything else Bush is doing.
SADDAM TORTURE FACILITY: Any junk room where an old battery has been dumped.
EVIDENCE OF WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION: Anything we can get away with planting.
COMBAT DEATH TOLL: The real number minus the ones we don't plan to report.
FLEXIBILITY: The right for Donald Rumsfeld to withdraw a billion or two from the defense budget any time the spirit moves him without having to notify anyone.
ACCOUNTABILITY: No equivalent translation available outside Pentagon. - Read more here.
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