August 23, 2003

Talk about mudflaps, my girl's got 'em
Thailand's government has banned three racy new love songs it deems obscene from the country's airwaves, a state official says.

The country-style songs -- "I Fear No Sins" and "I Do Fear Sins", which allude to extra-marital affairs, and "Big, Flabby Buttocks" -- were forbidden from being aired on radio and television stations this week.

Fifteen older love tunes -- including classics such as "One Woman, Two Men" and "I Love Her Husband" -- had been condemned but not banned. - - link.


Vacuuming while naked
The secret language of doctors:
UBI: "Unexplained Beer Injury"
PAFO:"Pissed And Fell Over"
ATFO: "Asked To F... Off"
Not to mention Code Brown, referring to a faecal incontinence emergency.

Then there is DBI, for "Dirtbag Index." This is a formula which multiplies the number of tattoos on the patient's body by the number of missing teeth to estimate the total of days he has gone without a bath.

Relatives of patients on the critical list may blanche if they knew what CTD, GPO or Rule of Five mean on their loved-one's records.

The first means "Circling The Drain", the second signifies "Good for Parts Only" and "Rule of Five" means that if more than five of the patient's orifices are obscured by tubing, he has no chance.

A patient who is "giving the O-sign" is very sick, lying with his mouth open. This is followed by the "Q-sign" -- when the tongue hangs out of the mouth -- when the patient becomes terminal.

General practitioners may use LOBNH ("Lights On But Nobody Home") or the impressively bogus Oligoneuronal to mean someone who is thick.

But they also have a somewhat poetic option: "Pumpkin positive", referring to the idea that the person's brain is so tiny that a penlight shone into his mouth will make his empty head gleam like a Halloween pumpkin.

If a doctor is stumped for what is wrong with his or her patient, they may record GOK, for "God Only Knows."

As for genetic quirks or inbreeding, FLK means "Funny Looking Kid" and NFN signifies "Normal For Norfolk," a rural English county.

In Brazil, physicians use the acronym PIMBA for what can be translated as "swollen-footed, drunk, run-over beggar."

"The use of medical slang helps to depersonalise the distress encountered in doctors' everyway working lives," specialist Adam Fox told the British Medical Journal (BMJ) last year.

"It is a way of detaching and distancing oneself from patients' distress through loss, grief, disease, dying and death. Often someone else's pain is too much for us, so we cut off."

No comments: