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Bush pardons Thanksgiving turkey
"He's still an asshole," remarks bird.
Apart from some gobbling while the turkey vacuous fraud spoke, Stars was well behaved during the ceremony, disappointing many and leading some to speculate that it had been drugged by Karl Rove to avoid any embarrassing scenes such as last year's. Many of us can still recall the moment when the crazed fowl, channelling Howard Fineman, made a bee-line for the pReznit's manly privates.
Stars will retire to the ironically-named Frying Pan Park in Virginia.
November 24, 2003
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