WTF Is It Now?!?

"I just figured people knew about the porno"
WASHINGTON, DC - Addressing shocked fellow cabinet members, Secretary of Energy Spencer Abraham said Tuesday that he had assumed everyone knew about his roles in numerous 1980s pornographic films.

Abraham's "mostly softcore" body of work includes such features as Maid In The Shade, Jism Quest, Butt Fuck Sluts Go Nuts Vol. 3, and Lady Chatterly's Sisters.

"Look, I was young, and I was broke," Abraham said. "As soon as my political career took off, I quit. The bottom line is: All of that's in the past. I think it's strange that I'm condemned for those films, but not for serving as Deputy Chief Of Staff to Dan Quayle."

"Now, I don't know about you," Abraham said, "but I'm ready to discuss the use of superconductivity technology in electricity transmission and distribution."

As of press time, it is unknown whether any other White House officials have performed in pornographic films. - - The Onion.