WTF Is It Now?!?

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If pets could send holiday greetings

We, your cats, at Christmas say,
Thanks for caring for us each day.
We love this season, all green and red,
And by the way, the hamster's dead.

I'd like to bark a merry tune,
I'd like to deck the halls.
I'd like to bring the world some joy,
But first, I'll lick my balls.

As watchman-cat, I've done my job,
The house is safe once more.
That shiny stuff that stormed the tree
Is dead now on the floor.

Santa brought you presents,
While you slept in your beds.
All I, your cat, can offer
Is a field mouse, ripped to shreds.

This Christmas Eve if you hear a noise,
it's me -- your little Yuletide elf.
In your shoe, you'll find a steaming gift,
I made it by myself!

I think that I shall never see
a thing as lovely as a Christmas tree.
You decorated it so nice,
I'm sorry I peed on it -- twice.

- - email from MikeD.