December 20, 2003

If pets could send holiday greetings

  • We, your cats, at Christmas say,
    Thanks for caring for us each day.
    We love this season, all green and red,
    And by the way, the hamster's dead.

  • I'd like to bark a merry tune,
    I'd like to deck the halls.
    I'd like to bring the world some joy,
    But first, I'll lick my balls.

  • As watchman-cat, I've done my job,
    The house is safe once more.
    That shiny stuff that stormed the tree
    Is dead now on the floor.

  • Santa brought you presents,
    While you slept in your beds.
    All I, your cat, can offer
    Is a field mouse, ripped to shreds.

  • This Christmas Eve if you hear a noise,
    it's me -- your little Yuletide elf.
    In your shoe, you'll find a steaming gift,
    I made it by myself!

  • I think that I shall never see
    a thing as lovely as a Christmas tree.
    You decorated it so nice,
    I'm sorry I peed on it -- twice.

    - - email from MikeD.

  • No comments: