WTF Is It Now?!?

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In other news

Bush Sets America's Sights on the Moon, Mars
As millions frantically look to escape planet he's totally f*cked up.

Three-Way Tie for Top Democrats in Iowa
An anxious Rick Santorum said to be in seclusion.

Thousands March in Iraq to Demand Early Elections
Katherine Harris set to arrive to oversee process.

Rover Spirit Rolls Onto Martian Surface
Into oncoming traffic.

Planned Bush Trip to MLK Site Upsets Some
"But I like milk!" exclaims Bush.

US Pilot Charged for 'Protesting' Brazil's Security Policy
"Fingerprint this!"