WTF Is It Now?!?

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Pat Robertson: God tells me it's Bush in a blowout

Pat Robertson said Friday that God told him President Bush will be re-elected in a landslide. "I really believe I'm hearing from the Lord it's going to be like a blowout election in 2004. It's shaping up that way,'' Robertson said.

"The Lord has just blessed him,'' Robertson said of Bush. "I mean, he could make terrible mistakes and comes out of it. It doesn't make any difference what he does, good or bad, the Diebold machines are 'fixed' God picks him up because he's a man of prayer and God's blessing him.''

Geez, Pat, I was pounding a few with the Almighty just the other day, and he told me he was getting damn tired of that sawn-off little Napoleonistic f*ck-up, and oh yeah, that you better check the air in your tires, you pompous prick (I'm pretty sure he also told me to become a golf pro, but wtf's up with that?).

The Rev. Barry W. Lynn, a frequent Robertson critic and executive director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, said he had a prediction of his own.

"I predict that Pat Robertson in 2004 will continue to use his multimillion broadcasting empire to promote George Bush and other Republican candidates,'' Lynn said in a statement. "Maybe Pat got a message from Karl Rove and thought it was from God.''

Ho ho!

Fun fact: God's been 'talking to Pat' for a loooooong time now. He told Pat to run for preznit in 1988, brought up nuking the State Dept, mentioned that He would cause a powerful hurricane to hit Florida because Disney decided to give same-sex partners health coverage (it hit Virginia beach first - where Pat lives), and that gays and abortionists were responsible for 9/11.