Keeping us safe from tehrizm
Three Senate office buildings remain closed today after a white powder, testing positive for the deadly poison ricin, was found in Senate majority leader/douchebag Bill Frist's office. Frist has denied he was stockpiling the powder for use in his experiments with kittens. Meanwhile, attorney general/nut John Ashcroft is looking into the possibility that calico cats may have masterminded the crime.
Fun fact: in 2001, letters laced with anthrax were sent to the offices of Democratic senators Tom 'Isadora' Daschle and Pat Leahy shortly after the September 11 attacks. Twenty-two people were affected and five of them died. The anthrax mailer has never been apprehended.
February 3, 2004
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