WTF Is It Now?!?

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A chimp walks into a bar...
"The election is in full-swing. Republicans have taken out round-the-clock ads promoting George Bush. Don't we already have that? It's called Fox News." - Craig Kilborn

"The Bush campaign for re-election has officially begun. They're actually running television commercials. Have you seen any of the television commercials? In one of the commercials, you see George Bush for thirty seconds. In another commercial, you get to see George Bush for sixty seconds — kind of like his stint in the National Guard." - David Letterman

"After all the voting on Tuesday, President Bush called John Kerry to congratulate him. I'm not sure what they talked about, but I think we can rule out swapping war stories." - Jay Leno

"After failing to win a single state on Tuesday, John Edwards described his campaign as 'The Little Engine That Could.' And afterwards, Bush called him, and said, 'You're not going to believe this but I'm reading that book right now.'" - Jay Leno

"Do you realize that the Bush administration has now produced more gay marriages than jobs?" - Jay Leno

- - via email from MikeD.