WTF Is It Now?!?

A shovelful of dirt
Actual headline: Bush to Do 9/11 Remembrance, Fund-Raising

The Smirking aWol Chickensh!t will attend groundbreaking ceremonies for a 9/11 memorial on Long Island today, then attend a campaign fund-raising event.

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The dead, the bad and the ugly: president's ad blitz bombs
'The charred fire truck was President Bush's first Abraham Lincoln-like landing -- not to compare it to Lincoln at Gettysburg, but to Bush's telegenic landing on the aircraft carrier by that name, where he brandished the death of a few thousand Iraqis and 117 Americans as campaign fodder. Stay tuned for those ads. To be fair to the Bush campaign, it doesn't have much else to run on. When they're not hung up on political necrophilia, the campaign's ads are elegies to national and economic insecurity, Bush's towering twin legacies.' - from a News-Journal editorial.

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Dream team
"John Kerry is a close friend of mine. We have been friends for years," John McCain said yesterday about a possible Kerry-McCain ticket. "Obviously I would entertain it."

A few hours later the senator's chief of staff, Mark Salter, finally received the telepathic signals from Karl Rove. "Senator McCain will not be a candidate for vice president in 2004," Salter said in a monotone while flinging feces. "Senator McCain will be endorsing our dear leader if he knows what's...excuse me, the voices in my head are on fire..."

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"The most crooked, lying group I've ever seen"
As rethugs demand an apology, hero/patriot John Kerry tells them to f*ck off.

'Kerry campaign spokeswoman Stephanie Cutter said the Democratic candidate had no regrets about his characterizations of the opposition. "Not at all," she said. "There's been a pretty high level of Republican attack machine working for the last four years for the sole purpose of smearing the Democrats. We're trying to make this campaign about issues; Republicans are making it about attacks."'