WTF Is It Now?!?

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So, a chimp walks into a bar...
"They said that President Bush's war in Iraq has cost the former Spanish Prime Minister his job. So Bush isn't losing American jobs anymore, he's branching out to other countries."

"John Kerry said today that he stands by his claim that certain foreign leaders have told him that they hope he wins. And George Bush fired back. He said 'Oh yeah? Certain Supreme Court justices have told me that I'm going to win.'"

"Do you like the March Madness? Here's how it works: First you start out with 65, and then one by one, people are sent home until there's only one left. No, I'm sorry, that's our coalition in Iraq."

"President Bush went out touting his economic record in Ohio last week. Now this is a state that lost 225,000 jobs since Bush took office. You know, if Bush wants to tout his record, he should do it somewhere where the Bush economy has actually created jobs, like India, or Thailand, or China."

"John Kerry said today he wants to debate President Bush once a month. Hey good luck. If Bush couldn't make it to the National Guard once a month, he's not going to show up for this."

- sent in by Jay Leno's knee specialist, MikeD.