April 29, 2004

Bush & Cheney before the 9/11 commission
mellowinman from the BC forum obtained a portion of the transcript:

Ben Veniste: Mr. Bush...

Bush: Who you talkin' to?

Ben Veniste: Ah, I'm sorry, Mr. President, why did the chicken cross the road?

Bush: To find the evildoer.

Ben Veniste: And where did he find the evildoer?

Bush: On the other side of the road?

Ben Veniste: Which road?

Cheney: The chicken in question was crossing the Al-Adoobidoobidoo highway, South of Baghdad, where a number of Al Qaeda were meeting with the Republican Guard to create Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Bush: Them Republican Guards is our guys.

Cheney: Shut up! Shut UP!

Ben Veniste: Is that true? Saddam's personal bodyguards and elite fighting force worked for the United States Government?

Cheney: Don't be ridiculous. Sometimes George...

Bush: Ah, that's "Mr. President..."

Cheney: Sometimes Mr. President has trouble distinguishing the different types of Republicans.

Ben Veniste: Well, what are the different types of Republicans?

Bush: You didn't say, "Mr. President..."

Ben Veniste: I was asking Mr. Cheney.

Cheney: That's "Mr. Vice President."

Ben Veniste: No it isn't. Now, what are the different types of Republicans?

Bush: I know this one!

Cheney: Shut up!

Bush: You didn't say...

Cheney: Shut UP Mr. President! There are over thirty five seperate types of Republicans, but the main sub groups are the Halliburton, the Enron, and the TV Newsmen. The TV Newsmen have been carefully trained, and used to be called the Democrats, back in the 19th Century. The Enrons are the Campaign donors, but that doesn't mean all the campaign donors are Enrons. Saddam's Republicans were actually enemy forces, until we got rid of Saddam, and now they work for us. Any fool can see...

Bush: I can't see...

Cheney: I said, any fool can see that we need the most elite of the elite Republicans to guard the oil, and that's why...

Bush: THAT'S why they're called the Republican Guard!

Ben Veniste: Now, I think you two are fillibustering...

Bush: No we're not. We're just trying to use up our time. Is an hour up already?

Ben Veniste: No. You've only been before the panel for five minutes.

Bush: You didn't call me "Mr. President."

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