WTF Is It Now?!?

Bush using drugs to keep from totally losing it

George W. Bush is taking powerful anti-depressant drugs to control his erratic behavior, depression and paranoia, Capitol Hill Blue has learned.

The prescription drugs, administered by the White House physician, can impair [Squinty the Chimp]’s mental faculties and decrease both his physical capabilities and his ability to respond to a crisis, administration aides admit privately.

"It’s a double-edged sword," says one aide. "We can’t have him flying off the handle at the slightest provocation but we also need a President who is alert mentally.'

The anti-depressants were prescribed after a clearly-upset Bush stormed off stage on July 8, refusing to answer reporters' questions about his relationship with indicted Enron executive Kenneth J. Lay.

"Keep those motherfuckers away from me," he screamed at an aide backstage. "If you can’t, I’ll find someone who can."

Bush’s mental stability has become the topic of Washington whispers in recent months. Capitol Hill Blue first reported on June 4 about increasing concern among White House aides over the President’s wide mood swings and obscene outbursts.

One long-time GOP political consultant who – for obvious reasons – asked not to be identified said he is advising his Republican Congressional candidates to keep their distance from Bush.

"We have to face the very real possibility that the President of the United States is loony tunes," he says sadly. "That’s not good for my candidates, it’s not good for the party and it’s certainly not good for the country."