WTF Is It Now?!?

Jon Stewart, journalist
Jon Stewart was the guest on Crossfire tonight, and handed both Fuc Tucker Carlson AND Paul Begala their rudimentary nutsacks, though they probably didn't even know it. God, it was beautiful:

STEWART: Here's just what I wanted to tell you guys.
CARLSON: Yes.
STEWART: Stop. (LAUGHTER)
STEWART: Stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America.
BEGALA: OK. Now... (CROSSTALK)
STEWART: And come work for us, because we, as the people...
CARLSON: How do you pay?
STEWART: The people -- not well. (LAUGHTER)
BEGALA: Better than CNN, I'm sure.
STEWART: But you can sleep at night.

{snip}

CARLSON: Let me ask you a question on the news.
STEWART: Now, this is theater. It's obvious. How old are you?
CARLSON: Thirty-five.
STEWART: And you wear a bow tie. (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
CARLSON: Yes, I do. I do.
STEWART: Now, listen, I'm not suggesting that you're not a smart guy, because those are not easy to tie.
CARLSON: They're difficult.
STEWART: But the thing is that this -- you're doing theater, when you should be doing debate, which would be great.
BEGALA: We do, do...
STEWART: It's not honest. What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery. And I will tell you why I know it.
CARLSON: You had John Kerry on your show and you sniff his throne and you're accusing us of partisan hackery?
STEWART: Absolutely.
CARLSON: You've got to be kidding me. He comes on and you... (CROSSTALK)
STEWART: You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. (LAUGHTER)
STEWART: What is wrong with you?

{snip}

STEWART: You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.
CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.
STEWART: You need to go to one.

{snip}

CARLSON: Welcome back to Crossfire. We're talking to Jon Stewart, who was just lecturing us on our moral inferiority. Jon, you're bumming us out. Tell us, what do you think about the Bill O'Reilly vibrator story?
STEWART: I'm sorry. I don't.
CARLSON: Oh, OK.
STEWART: What do you think?
BEGALA: Let me change the subject.
STEWART: Where's your moral outrage on this?
CARLSON: I don't have any.
STEWART: I know.

{snip}

CARLSON: I do think you're more fun on your show. Just my opinion. OK, up next, Jon Stewart goes one on one with his fans... (CROSSTALK)
STEWART: You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.

- Transcript, video . mp3 video.