March 31, 2005

Where's Walnutbrain?
In our new feature, we try to keep tabs on just what the hell Monkey McMoron is up to. Details are sketchy, as his handlers really don't want anyone close to the Snivelling Fuckwit other than their handpicked and brainwashed stooges.

Today, Little Lord Bunnypants is somewhere in the Midwest, continuing his Bamboozlepalooza tour as soon as he gets woken up, fed and burped.

Yesterday he tortured the poor taxpayers of Cedar Rapids, Iowa:

"[I]n America, we understand freedom and we know freedom is not our gift to the world; freedom is the Almighty God's gift to each man and woman in this world. And flying in, I saw a lot of people on tractors. It's a good sign. But it reminded me about what is possible when it comes to reasonable energy policy."
Sorry, I sort of lost it after that.

Fun fact: Joining him for his townhall propaganda meetings is the pathetic, de-balled sellout John 'vagina' McCain, who has been thrust in the role of "playing the heavy for the president, sharply accusing Democrats of being obstructionist and shortsighted," according to CBS News.

Fun fact 2: Though Bush "insists he is making headway on the issue, the lingering skittishness among congressional Republicans — and outright opposition from most Democrats — indicates otherwise."

Fun fact 3: The Boy King may use executive order to enact his private accounts idea.

Fun fact 4: The WMD commission's final report has been released. Will the Goober actually take any questions regarding it, or will he "have to go to lunch"?


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