WTF Is It Now?!?

Some guy was nominated for judgitude
John G. Roberts was born a poor black child in Buffalo, NY, and raised in Long Beach, Ind, outside Gary. He was high school class president, captain of his football team. His father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. His mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

His father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. A sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

Little John-john's childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring he'd make meat helmets. If he was insolent, he was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. At the age of twelve he received his first scribe. At the age of fifteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved his testicles...



Pic from the Princess.
***