Friday cat blogging


Glowing orbs near my cat.
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Dept. of Homeland Security subsidizes Fortune 500 oil company
Un-#ucking-believable... Your tax dollars at work, keeping you safer --

Via AmericaBlog:

A Fortune 500 refinery received a port security grant in totaling almost $1 million for fencing and surveillance upgrades at a refinery located in a major port. This company recently reported 3rd quarter net income in excess of $1.2 billion.

Now, which Fortune 500 company -- with 3rd quarter net income of $1.2 billion -- needed tax dollars to build a fence?

Between a) our porous borders and b) the energy companies ripping us new cornholes while raking in the dough hand over fist, this is fucking outrageous.

Turning the other cheek
Church fires photographer over photo of Scalia

Peter Smith, who had freelanced for The Pilot - the Archdiocese of Boston’s newspaper - for a decade, lost the job yesterday after the Herald ran his photo on its front page. Smith said he has no regrets about releasing it.

“I did the right thing. I did the ethical thing,” said Smith, 51, an assistant photojournalism professor at Boston University.

Indeed. And a big "va fan culo" to the good Christians who fired this guy because another paper ran a photo. Of a US Supreme Court Justice being a total dick. Inside the Cathedral of the Holy Cross.

Lies - and the lying liars that tell them
...like your righteous, Godfearing preznit.

As the 2004 election loomed, the White House was determined to keep the wraps on a potentially damaging memo about Iraq.

Karl Rove, President Bush's chief political adviser, cautioned other White House aides in the summer of 2003 that Bush's 2004 re-election prospects would be severely damaged if it was publicly disclosed that he had been personally warned that a key rationale for going to war had been challenged within the administration.

Rove expressed his concerns shortly after an informal review of classified government records by then-Deputy National Security Adviser Stephen J. Hadley determined that Bush had been specifically advised that claims he later made in his 2003 State of the Union address -- that Iraq was procuring high-strength aluminum tubes to build a nuclear weapon -- might not be true, according to government records and interviews.

Then-CIA Director George Tenet swiftly and publicly took the blame for the entire Niger episode, saying that he and the CIA were at fault for not warning Bush and his aides that the information might be untrue.

But Hadley and other administration officials realized that it would be much more difficult to shield Bush from criticism for his statements regarding the aluminum tubes, for several reasons....

"Presidential knowledge was the ball game," says a former senior government official outside the White House who was personally familiar with the damage-control effort. "The mission was to insulate the president. It was about making it appear that he wasn't in the know. You could do that on Niger. You couldn't do that with the tubes." A Republican political appointee involved in the process, who thought the Bush administration had a constitutional obligation to be more open with Congress, said: "This was about getting past the election."

- more here.

At least we can't be blamed for this one
God hates Iran's gay people too.

Senate panel set to consider bid to censure Bush
John Dean, former White House counsel to Nixon, heads to Capitol Hill today to back the attempt to censure the Dictator-tot.

Dean, author of a book about Bush titled "Worse than Watergate," was to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee in support of a resolution to rebuke Bush for [the illegal, warrantless] domestic spying program introduced secretly after the September 11 attacks.

Lieberman booed at state party dinner
Kos reports: not even Obama's endorsement could spare vichycrat Joemental the embarrassment of being booed at the Connecticut Democrats' annual dinner last night.

Lieberman became Obama's mentor when Obama was sworn into the Senate in 2005. They stayed close at Thursday night's event, too, entering the room together and working the crowd in tandem.

Despite the camaraderie between the two, the crowd was clearly more receptive to Obama's remarks than Lieberman's speech about party unity and the potential for Democratic victories at the ballot box this fall.

In fact, scattered boos greeted Lieberman when he took the podium, and he had to stop three times during his remarks to shush the crowd so he could deliver key points.

Damn!
I missed Republican Rubber Stamp Day at firedoglake.



Iraq leader warns Bush to stop interfering
Spreadin' freedom an' democracy

In the face of growing pressure from the Bush misadministration for him to step down, Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jaafari of Iraq on Wednesday vigorously asserted his right to stay in office and warned the Americans against undue interference in Iraq's political process.

Well, it's 1, 2, 3...

The sun rose this morning...
I don't know - is it really news when Bill O'Reilly acts like an asshat?

Stronger than dirt
Archaeologists find hero's palace from Trojan War. Those must've been some condoms.

Among the ruins of a 3,200-year-old palace near Athens, researchers are piecing together the story of legendary Greek warrior-king Ajax, hero of the Trojan War.

Archaeologist Yiannis Lolos found remains of the palace while hiking on the island of Salamis in 1999, and has led excavations there for the past six years.

On a wooded hill overlooking the sea at Kanakia on Salamis' southwestern coast, Lolos' team has excavated a town surmounted by a fortified palace complex.

The site flourished in the 13th century B.C. - at the same time as the major centers of Mycenae and Pylos in southern Greece - and was abandoned during widespread unrest about 100 years later.

Picture of something else entirely.
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No-talent assclown wants Snow replaced
Josh Bolten, the incoming White House chief of staff, wants Treasury Secretary John Snow replaced with someone who can "present the [mis]administration's message more forcefully," the New York Times reports.

On Wednesday, White House spokes-tool Scott McClellan said Bush believes Snow is doing a heckuva job: "The president appreciates the great job that Secretary Snow is doing, he is an important member of our economic team."

Look for Mr Snow to announce he'll be spending more time with his family any day now.

D'oh!!
Rethug Congressional candidate/dumbass who posted a fake picture of Baghdad on his website to show how calm and stable it is replaces it with an actual picture of Baghdad. Unfortunately for him the building in the new picture has since been blown up.

Rethug tranny skank in trouble with the law
Syphilitic ho-bag mAnn Coulter given 30 days to explain why she broke election laws by voting in wrong precinct.

In a registered letter scheduled to be sent to her this week, Coulter is asked to "clarify certain information as to her legal residence," elections boss Arthur Anderson said.

"We want to give her a chance," Anderson said. "She needs to tell us where she really lives."

Or else? He could refer the case to State Attorney Barry Krischer for criminal charges, Anderson said.

But because the loathsome, brownshirted QTip lied about her place of residence, the letter 'may be headed to the wrong house.'

"We have to send the registered letter to her address in our records," explained Charmaine Kelly, elections chief deputy. "If it comes back unsigned, we'll deal with that."

Coulter, a constitutional lawyer who relentlessly made fun of Palm Beach County voters after the botched 2000 presidential election, couldn't be reached for comment.

Oh, the hughmanity...
Conservative gasbag asstool Hugh Hewitt informs Time Magazine reporter Michael Ware - who's been embedded on the frontline of just about every single battle in Iraq - that his radio station studio is just as perilous as the Sunni Triangle.

Photographer: the Herald got it right
‘You’re not going to print that, are you?’ - US Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.

Amid a growing national controversy about the gesture Justice Antonin Scalia made Sunday at the Cathedral of the Holy Cross, the freelance photographer who captured the moment has come forward with the picture.

“It’s inaccurate and deceptive of him to say there was no vulgarity in the moment,” said Peter Smith, the photojournalism professor who made the shot. ....

“The judge paused for a second, then looked directly into my lens and said, ‘To my critics, I say, ‘Vaffanculo,’ ” punctuating the comment by flicking his right hand out from under his chin, Smith said.

The Italian phrase means "fuck you.”

It certainly does. So does the gesture by itself. My dad would've smacked the living shit out of us if he had ever caught us doing that.

For a worthy cause
"And They Cook, Too," the blogger cookbook fundraiser for Doctors Without Borders, is now available here.

Filling the Karl Rove Chair of Official Truths
Our pick for the next conservative blogger at washingtonpost.com: the lovely and talented General. Email Jim Brady at executive.editor@washingtonpost.com and let him lnow what an asset this fine all-American patriot could be.

Heh
"By pushing his way to the front of the volatile debate over immigration, Senate Majority Leader[/douchebag] Bill Frist has reignited complaints that his presidential ambitions conflict with his leadership duties at times and put him at odds with his GOP caucus."


"Eh? Sorry, I can't hear you - I've got a jackboot in my ear..."
*****

SOB story
I'm all choked up.

In his overly determined pursuit of helping people and charities, Mr. Abramoff spent virtually all of the funds he earned in his various business dealings. Determined to help others, and confident that he could always earn more money if needed, he ignored the guidance of his financial advisors and accountants who repeatedly warned him that he needed to put funds aside into personal savings. Now, Mr. Abramoff is broke.

- Morally, ethically, and financially! A trifecta! (Via Crooks and Liars)

Yay
Jon at the Pensito Review says the 5-point-whatever years in FPMITA prison that the GOP's best friend Jack Abramoff just got does not include the sentences he’ll receive for bribing Republi-con congressman Bob Ney and others, such as corrupt, indicted scumbag Tom DeLay.

Cartoons of the prophet Mohammed are so last week, says the Culture Ghost.

Deja doodoo
With poll numbers stuck in the crapper and the midterm elections right around the corner, Bush and the repugs rub their dirty little paws in glee as the UN gives Iran 30 days to comply with demands to stop enriching uranium.

Next: the UN tries to figure out what to do if Iran refuses. Restraining order against the US on shortlist.

But... but... Clinton Saddam!
Bush blaming Saddam for Iraq instability

Preznit Stupid O'Liar said Wednesday that Saddam Hussein, not the continued US meddling and firepower in Iraq, is responsible for ongoing sectarian violence that is threatening the formation of a democratic government.

Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid accused Bush of sending "mixed messages" on Iraq that are hurting Iraq's chances for success.

Bwwaa! God bless Harry Reid sometimes.

Abramoff sentenced for wire fraud
Via email from CNN: Judge sentences rethug pet lobbyist Jack Abramoff to five years and 10 months in prison in his Florida fraud case, news agencies report.

Isn't that like getting Al Capone for tax evasion? Well, whatever.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

RNC memo warns GOP not to distance themselves from the Lying DisasterMonkey
"We are now brand W. Republicans"

Republican pollster Jan van Lohuizen, in a memo written for RNC chairman Ken Mehlman, warns that if members of Congress try to drive a wedge between themselves and Pres. Bush, it'd be akin to adding weight to an anchor. GOPers are "W Brand Republicans" whether they like it or not.

Van Louhizen, who has polled (often secretly) for the Bush White House under the RNC aegis for years, is worried about low voter turnout:

"We don't see signs of a depressed Republican turnout yet, but we have every reason to believe Democrats will turn out in high numbers. Anything we do to depress turnout, by not running as a unified party for instance, could very well lead to serious consequences in November."

"It was very clear that George Bush was set on going to war"
"White House Memo" drives a stake into the heart of White House lies

Something remarkable happened Monday: the corporate media finally got sick of Bush's endless lies about Iraq, and started to tell the truth.

The NY Times article [about how Bush told Tony Blair that war was inevitable, and that it didn't matter if WMDs were found] caused White House reporters to challenge Scott McClellan at the morning press gaggle. And in the evening, the "White House Memo" was featured on two key cable shows - Hardball with Chris Matthews and Countdown with Keith Olbermann.

Why is the truth finally breaking through? Because of us - all of us.

Democracy an' freedom's on the march!
The American ambassador has told Shiite officials in Iraq to inform the prime minister that President Fuckhead McStupidton does not want him to remain the country's leader in the next government. Did the space-time continuum just implode here? Because it should have.

Ambassador Khalilzad said that President Bush "doesn't want, doesn't support, doesn't accept" the democratically-elected Mr. Jaafari to be the next prime minister.

It is the first time the Americans have directly intervened in the furious debate over the country's top job, the politicians said, and it is inflaming tensions between the Americans and some Shiite leaders...

... even more! Jebus, wtf is he thinking??? Oh. Yeah.

Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! {**cough**diebolt**cough**}

The greater threat to our nation's security comes not from Dubai and its pro-Western government, but from Venezuela, where software engineers with links to the leftist, anti-American regime of Hugo Chávez {Ooooooh! The next Saddam! - Ed.} are programming electronic voting machines that will soon power U.S. elections.

Congress spent two weeks overreacting to news that Dubai Ports World would operate several American ports, including Miami's, but a better target for their hysteria would be the acquisition by Smartmatic International of California-based Sequoia Voting Systems, whose machines serve millions of U.S. voters.

Bwwwwaaaaaaaa! Oh noes! Brrrrrrrrrrr! Ha ha ha ha ha! {**diebolt**cough cough**}

Falafels!
Cranky fuckwit Cal Thomas has called an upcoming film about anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan "a liberal porno film." What do you think right-wing porn would be about?

5 seconds mAnn Coulter goosestepping onstage Katherine Harris's interview with Alan Colmes Dick Cheney shooting an old guy in the face A huge check from Jack Abramoff A column by Howard Fineman Squinty McNumbnuts in his flightsuit Jerking off all over the Constitution

Hot Karl news
A source close to the repulsive slimeball says that Karl Rove has turned on Scooter Libby, and is "cooperating enthusiastically" with Fitzgerald. At least until Cheney shoots him in the face.

According to several Pentagon sources close to Rove and others familiar with the inquiry, Bush's senior adviser tipped off Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald to information that led to the recent "discovery" of 250 pages of missing email from the office of Vice President Dick Cheney.

Pretty interesting stuff, though, seeing the President's closest advisor potentially ratting out the Vice President's former closest advisor. Extrapolate that to their bosses, and you really do have to wonder how long Cheney is going to be around. Clemons also points out that there are still nine months to go before Scooter's trial starts, and that Fitzgerald could very well widen the pool of White House staff and officials charged in the case. There have to be some pretty intriguing names connected to those 250 pages of e-mail.

But TalkLeft says

Rove will still have to plead to making a false statement to federal officials -- but he's now worked himself down to probation and no jail in exchange for his cooperation. Fitz may allow him to remain uncharged until at least Libby's trial is over, and then let him plead to an Information charging a single false statement count.

Then there's this from truthout:

It may seem as though it's been moving along at a snail's pace, but the second part of the federal investigation into the leak of covert CIA agent Valerie Plame Wilson is nearly complete, with attorneys and government officials who have remained close to the probe saying that a grand jury will likely return an indictment against one or two senior Bush administration officials.

Bah. Watch that slimy little worm cop a plea. Then be pardoned by his boss.

Bush backs Abramoff-linked senator
Preznit Dumbass expressed support during a fundraiser Monday for craven moron Conrad Burns, who has received $150,000 from corrupt, indicted rethug lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

That made no difference to Smirky McStupid, however:

"He's the kind of person the people of Montana need here. They need somebody who's steadfast when it comes to defending the country, who's wise about how we spend your money," the drooling monkey Bush said.

Jebus. Does he even know what he's talking about? Does he even pay attention to what he's saying? Or does some minion just hand him the talking point and a mic after winding him up for the day?

Fun fact: according to a recent article in Vanity Fair, Abramoff said Burns had been "especially cooperative." I can almost hear the good senator replying "... bitch set me up."

Fun fact II: 'steadfast when it comes to defending the country'? WTF?? The man's an idiotic, racist jerk, not a #ucking Rambo:

In 1991, Burns shocked lobbyists when he invited them to a slave auction after voting for a civil rights bill.

In 1994, Burns told the editorial board of the Bozeman Chronicle that when asked by a constituent, "How can you live back there in Washington, DC with all those niggers?" he replied, "[It's] a hell of a challenge." When he was asked about the use of the racial slur, he said: "I don't know. I never gave it much thought."

In 1997, Burns referred to Yellowstone National Park's superintendent as a "jughead" because of the park's bison management.

On February 17, 1999 Burns referred to Arabs as "ragheads".

In 2000, he offended a Billings woman when he pointed to her nose ring and asked her what tribe she was from.

In September 2005, Burns reportedly told a Northwest Airlines flight attendant worried about losing her job that she could stay at home and be a mother if she lost her job to outsourcing.

On December 21, 2005 Burns stated that "We've got to remember that the people who first hit us in 9/11 entered this country through Canada." Canadian ambassador Frank McKenna demanded an apology.

In late February 2006, Burns said President Bush has a skull of "solid granite."

Well, he got one thing right.

Heckuva job, Andy
With Bush's approval ratings in the toilet and repugs calling for a shake-up in staff, Andy Card himself "suggested" that he should step down.

Great! Everybody knew that he was the one ruining everything for this administration.

"I've watched as you have kept your oath to preserve and protect the Constitution," Card unexplainably told the dipshit president.

So he's leaving for mental reasons. I see.


Bush pretends to squash Card's head like a grape in this undated photo.
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Breaking WH news
Whoa!

Via email from CNN: White House chief of staff Andrew Card has resigned, will be replaced by budget director/no-talent assclown Josh Bolten, administration official says.

Not quite getting the concept
WWJFO?

US Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, just minutes after attending mass, flipped reporters the bird.

A Boston Herald reporter asked the 70-year-old conservative Roman Catholic if he faces much questioning over impartiality when it comes to issues separating church and state.

"You know what I say to those people?" Scalia replied, making the obscene gesture and explaining "That's Sicilian."

Stay classy, asshat.

Dem voters Feingold

While only two Democrats in the Senate have have actually grown a pair and embraced Sen. Russ Feingold's call for censuring Bush, the idea is increasing his standing among many Democratic voters.

A Newsweek poll taken March 16-17 found that, among Democrats, 60 percent favored the effort.

"These Democratic pundits are all scared of the Republican base getting energized, but they're willing to pay the price of not energizing the Democratic base," Feingold said. "It's an overly defensive and meek approach to politics."

RNC headcheese Ken Mehlman criticized Feingold, reinforcing an RNC radio ad in which a narrator says, "Call Russ Feingold and ask him why he's more interested in censuring the president than protecting our freedom."

Call Ken Mehlman and ask him how it feels to be spurious, oleaginous jerkoff.

Feingold's response, essentially, is bring it on.

"I welcome their attempt to make a campaign issue of the question of whether there will be accountability for the president's breaking the law," he said. "They will remind people every minute that the president thumbed his nose at the law."

Fun fact: Not only has he thumbed his nose, he's also picked it in public.

Can I get a R'amen?
The holy book of Pastafarianism to hit the shelves on Tuesday.

The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ($13.95, $10.74 at amazon.com) contains such revelations as there's a beer volcano in heaven, dinosaur "fossils" were hid underground to "dupe mankind," and heaven has a stripper factory. Arrrrrrr!

Blaming the media
wHoward Kurtz gets his clueless ass handed back to him by Laura Logan, chief foreign correspondent for CBS News:

KURTZ: But critics would say, well, no wonder people back home think things are falling apart because we get this steady drumbeat of negativity from the correspondents there.

LOGAN: Well, who says things aren't falling apart in Iraq? I mean, what you didn't see on your screens this week was all the unidentified bodies that have been turning up, all the allegations here of militias that are really controlling the security forces.

What about all the American soldiers that died this week that you didn't see on our screens? I mean, we've reported on reconstruction stories over and over again… I really resent the fact that people say that we're not reflecting the true picture here. That's totally unfair and it's really unfounded.

You don't think that I haven't been to the US military and the State Department and the embassy and asked them over and over again, let's see the good stories, show us some of the good things that are going on? Oh, sorry, we can't take to you that school project, because if you put that on TV, they're going to be attacked, the teachers are going to be killed, the children might be victims of attack. Oh, sorry, we can't show this reconstruction project because then that's going to expose it to sabotage. And the last time we had journalists down here, the plant was attacked. I mean, security dominates every single thing that happens in this country….So how it is that security issues should not then dominate the media coverage coming out of here?

KURTZ: I want to play for you a piece of tape involving Laura Ingraham, the conservative radio talk show how who was on "The Today Show" earlier this week and criticized "The Today Show" for not doing more from Iraq. Let's listen to what she had to say.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) LAURA INGRAHAM, BRAINDEAD TWAT: To do a show from Iraq means to talk to the Iraqi military, to go out with the Iraqi military, to actually have a conversation with the people instead of reporting from hotel balconies about the latest IEDs going off. (END VIDEO CLIP)

KURTZ: What do you make of that comment about reporting from hotel balconies?

LOGAN (paraphrasing): I have two words for that stupid bitch - 'Bob Woodruff.'

Well, DUH
The NY Times finally gets around to confirming what we and other blogs reported a few weeks ago:

During a private two-hour meeting in the Oval Office on Jan. 31, 2003, Bush made clear to Prime Minister Tony 'Piddles' Blair that he was determined to invade Iraq without the second UN resolution, or even if international arms inspectors failed to find unconventional weapons.

Faced with the possibility of not finding any before the planned invasion, Bush talked about several ways to provoke a confrontation, including a proposal to paint a United States surveillance plane in the colors of the United Nations in hopes of drawing fire, or assassinating Saddam Hussein.

"No preznit wants war..." - Bunnypants, lying again last week.

Blaming the media
30 corpses found in Iraq on day of extreme violence - headline at Fox News. Oh, and it's up to 40 now.
Tensions high in Iraq after US raid kills followers of Shiite leader Moqtada al-Sadr - the WaComPo.
New Iraqi school painted, destroyed by car bomb - OK, blame me, I made that one up.

And there you have the GOP strategy for 2006: blame the media (again). See, the problem with Iraq is not that they're on the verge of civil war, or that around 40 people are killed every day in sectarian violence - the problem is that the media isn't reporting on all the good things going on over there.

It's not for want of trying. Two weeks ago Jake Tapper of ABC news attempted to do a lighthearted story on the production of an upcoming Iraqi sit-com called "Me and Layla." Everything was going great until the the head of the entertainment division for Iraqi TV was, uh, assassinated on his way to work.

- from this week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots at DU. And make sure you see number 10.

Follow-up
He's out.

Blaming the messenger
"How can you not trust Bush?" says Chris Matthews after zipping up Bush's fly.

MATTHEWS: Gayle Taylor criticized media coverage of the war in Iraq at the president’s town hall meeting with military families just yesterday. Her husband, Warrant Officer Kent Taylor, served in Iraq for a year with the Army National Guard’s mobile public affairs detachment and was a broadcast journalist for the Army National Guard. Welcome to you, both. I have to start with Gayle. What moved you to make that very strong statement at the meeting yesterday with the president? ...

MS TAYLOR: Braaaaak! I'll believe anything Mr Mehlman tells me! The liberal media hates our dear leader! 9/11!

MR TAYLOR: In some aspects, I believe there could very well be a political motive. I know, for a fact, that there are members of the media who are bitterly opposed to our president, the Christian values that he believes in, the decisions he makes, and even the party he stands for.

MARU: Oh holy fucking Chr*st. Yeah, that's it. Asshat.

"This is bad"
- the National Review's Stephen Spruiell.

A two-day effort by liberal bloggers to publicize numerous examples of plagiarism committed by new Washington Post blogger Ben Domenech culminated today in calls that he give up his new position - - from some of his conservative supporters. One of them, most dramatically, is columnist and bigot blogger Michelle Malkin.

.. who, for a while there, seemed to blame everyone else but Ben for his blatant plagiarism..

"Domenech's detractors, are right. He should own up to it and step down. Then, the Left should cease its sick gloating and leave him and his family alone."

Yeah, and I'm sure you felt the same way about Dan Rather.

Conservative blogger Dan Riehl added

"His judgment displays a profound lack of moral and ethical grounding. Ambition is
no excuse for theft. And that’s precisely what plagiarism is."

"Evolution is a fairy-tale for grown-ups"
Uhhhhhh...