April 28, 2007

Oh, It's Okay - I Only Use Immigrant Hookers

Okay, divageek alluded to this, but I want to make the point crystal clear. Courtesy of Josh Marshall, we learn this about Hookergate slimeball Randy Randall Tobias:

On Thursday, Tobias told ABC News he had several times called the "Pamela Martin and Associates" escort service "to have gals come over to the condo to give me a massage." Tobias, who is married, said there had been "no sex," and that recently he had been using another service "with Central Americans" to provide massages.

Another service "with Central Americans." That's what he's using now. This is the guy in charge of America's international aid and development assistance to countries around the world. ("I was using one service that sent Thai broads. Now I get 'em to send Central Americans.") I'm glad this bozo is showing our best face to the world and clearing up any misunderstandings about exploiting people in the Third World.

'Cause, you know, those hot Latin chicks - those Central American gals - are innately more talented at *cough* giving massages *cough*.

I realize these fuckwits have no sense of hypocrisy, to say nothing of shame, but you'd really think that when they're trying to explain away the illicit sex, they'd have more sense than to try to justify it on the basis of race. Then again, I suppose I should be glad that randy Randy's willing to show just what a useless fuck (in all senses of the term) he is.

~ L

Pet Dick image from here.


Anonymous said...

what's new? Bunch of pig whores in the WH, much like Nazi Germany they kill who they want fuck who they want and it won't matter how many investigations you have they will all get off scott free with a pardon down the road. nothing phases me anymore with this group of fat, evil pig white men

Undeniable Liberal said...

Pet dick, heh.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure I understand the headline. For comedy's sake, shouldn't the emphasis be on "immigrant"?

"Oh, It's OK -- I Only Use IMMIGRANT Hookers"

I'm just sayin' ...

Anonymous said...

Randy had his "happy endings" and now we'll get ours. :)


Kvatch said...

I realize these fuckwits have no sense of hypocrisy...

Actually, if he acutally bought his own bullsh*t, he wouldn't have had to resign. I mean...they didn't really have sex, right?

Just saying.

montag said...

These "Central American gals", are they free to leave? Do they have green cards? Are they even old enough? Or is this a Negroponte-Rove enterprise to discretely take care of their friends that Tobias just exposed?

I'm sorry but 6 years of Republican misrule has poisoned my mind. Then again, with Karl you just never know.

Lilith said...

Montag: With Karl, it's always safe to assume that the reality is more poisonous than your mind can imagine.

Anon #1: Yeah, what I should've done is put "use" in quotes. (I was running late, and battling a cranky hotel dial-up connection.) In my fevered brain, the point was to stress the various meanings of "use," but that's not how it translated, obviously.

Anon #2: Sex, no sex . . . it's all the same to these assholes. Get caught; say, "I didn't do it, and besides, Teh Clenis!"; then "resign voluntarily" as a euphemism for "get thrown under the bus to protect the [non]reputations of Chimpy and Karl." QED.

jack shit said...

Didn't Haggard say he had just gotten a massage? Man these republican need to get new talking points and quit recycling them so quickly. Next thing he'll say is he's only resigning to spend more time with his hooker....opps I mean wife and family!

farang said...

Um, well, good choice there with "Thai Broads", because farang happens to enjoy his Thai massages.

And, I hate to say it, but this asshole *could* be telling the truth, and *just* having massage without sex. I doubt it, but it IS possible.

If you should ever happen to end up in a Thai massage parlor (as in: "honey, I don't know HOW I ended up in HERE!?!?!"), ask for the Traditional massage.
And take it like a man, ya sissy. You didn't know you could bend that direction. She ain't gonna be able to shove that pointed wooden stick through your toes, it just feels like it.

Or get the oil "massagee", if ya "know what I mean, wink wink".

Yes, Thai ladies are so sweet, smiling, laughing and happy, they even fuck American Republicans. At least, the few who fuck women.

I'll be there Friday afternoon......

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