October 21, 2007

Freddie and the Amazing Bazongas

Fredrick of Hollywood: "If elected, I will have the hottest First Lady In U.S. history"

I urge each and every one of you to run a Google image search and see the evidence for yourself: photo after photo of a tall but wrinkled and sagging 64-year-old man — that's me — standing at various gala events, his arm wrapped around a stunning woman with glowing orange skin and beautiful platinum- highlighted hair. A bold woman, squeezed into a dress with a plunging neckline so low her enormous breasts seem almost ready to leap out and scream, "Hey world—look at us! We are married to a famous man we saw in Die Hard 2 when we were in college!"

"Boobs. That's my platform. And oh baby, I've got one right now. Boobsboobsboobsboobsboobs."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

all he needs is to like little boys and he's got the Repuke nomination in the bag.

Anonymous said...

No Tommy, Your skag could'nt shave
Jackie Kennedy's leg. Now that is
what you call class. And she did'nt have to have plastic clevege. So take your sad sack and go home, you stupid fuck..

Anonymous said...

Since when is "orange skin" alluring?

Every time I see them together I think of the movie "Big Daddy" where Adam Sandler's girlfriend leaves him for an old guy and he goes, "He has OLD BALLS! Gross!"