Surrendermonkey cuts and runs as RNC chairman

Mel Martinez, quitter, announced Friday he was stepping down as Republican National Committee chairman after serving only 10 months.

The big defeatist announced he was leaving to spend more time with his constituents and because the RNC had "achieved the objective he set" when he assumed the job in January, that of continuing to blindly rubberstamp Preznit Disastermonkey's failed and unpopular policies and to keep the party from not completely sliding ignominiously into the crapper.

In a statement, Preznit Brainless McLoony said Martinez "has effectively communicated our party's commitment to addressing the issues most important to all Americans. His message of hope and opportunity has resonated throughout America and strengthened support for our agenda," which raised the question "just what the fuck is that imbecile smoking now??"

His departure, like that of the president's last remaining brain cells, was abrupt.