October 29, 2007

Uh, no

There's this one TV commercial that has been really cheesing me off lately. It's the one with some b/mimbo breathing something like "you have to ask yourself: when you turn your car on, does it return the favor?"

Right. Barrrrrrffff. No. First of all, I don't "turn my car on." I "fucking start the damn thing." Then I "spend the next half hour crawling behind dump trucks, garbage trucks, school buses, asswipes driving 15 mph below the speed limit" and/or "hitting every goddamn traffic light between here and there." Secondly, the only thing I ever want to do with my -- mmmm, hard! -- stick shift is rip it from whatever its bolted onto and use it to repeatedly pummel the head of the jerkoff ahead or behind me that's driving like a fucking moron. Thirdly, go fuck yourselves, you pretentious asstools.

7 comments:

JasonC said...

well said as always, my friend.

pygalgia said...

Yup, I would think of a car as a tool, not a lover. But I live car-free, so I tend to find my "turn on's" among thinking human beings. And I hate television.

Undeniable Liberal said...

Oh my....maru, you are so naughty!!

JLfromNH said...

Thats the reason why the mute button is the first one to wear out on any remote I get.

julian said...

I'm with Pyg. I bike to work or ride the bus when the winter wears hard.

Anonymous said...

And I thought my commute was tough!

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