January 31, 2008

McCain pimpslaps Waffles in last night's GOP debate

As Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee were relegated to standing around making shadow puppets, the two front-runners were making spectacles of themselves. It was cool.

"If you get endorsed by the New York Times, you're probably not a conservative," Mitt Romney said early on, when asked if McCain was "outside the mainstream" of the Republican Party. The line might as well have been a "kick me" sign on Romney's back. McCain practically came out of his shoes.

"Let me note that I was endorsed by your two hometown newspapers who know you best, including the very conservative Boston Herald, who know you well better than anybody," McCain said with a nasty grin. "So I'll guarantee the Arizona Republic will be endorsing me, my friend."
Dayyum! Later, after McCain continued to claim Romney supported timetables for withdrawing troops from Iraq, Romney went ballistic, and invoked the holy name of Saint Ronnie of Reagan:
"Unequivocally, absolutely no. By the way," he added, sobbing, "raising it a few days before the Florida primary, when there was very little time for me to correct the record ... sort of falls in the kind of dirty tricks that I think Ronald Reagan would have found to be reprehensible."
Ooooooh! pwn3d! And I could've sworn that only Demoncraps were this nasty.

Fun fact: "Reagan" was mentioned about 63 times overall during the dabate, culminating in this extreme orgasmic Reaganstravaganzathon from Willard "Reagan" O'Romney:
ROMNEY: Ronald Reagan would look at the issues that are being debated right here and say, one, we're going to win in Iraq, and I'm not going to walk out of Iraq until we win in Iraq.

Ronald Reagan would say lower taxes. Ronald Reagan would say lower spending.

Ronald Reagan would -- is pro-life. Ronald Reagan would also say Ronald Reagan wants to have an amendment to protect marriage. Ronald Reagan would say, as I do, that Washington is broken. And like Ronald Reagan, I'd go to Washington as an outsider -- not owing favors, not lobbyists on every elbow. I would be able to be the independent outsider that Ronald Reagan was, and Ronald Reagan brought change to Washington.

Ronald Reagan would say, yes, let's drill in ANWR. Ronald Reagan would say, no way are we going to have amnesty again. Ronald Reagan saw it, it didn't work. Let's not do it again.

Ronald Reagan would say no to a 50-cent-per-gallon charge on Americans for energy that the rest of the world doesn't have to pay.

Ronald Reagan would have said absolutely no way to McCain-Feingold.

I would be with Ronald Reagan. And this party, it has a choice, what the heart and soul of this party is going to be, and it's going to have to be in the house that Ronald Reagan built.

Ronald Reagan. I'd blow him! Thank you.
... but I may have lost count due to Ronald Reagan fatigue. Reagan.