Rethugs face tough choices in presidential race

I help out Byron Yorrrrrk at the nationalfishwrap:

Romney, the flipflopping cult-following technocrat, with an itemized to-do list and waffle-iron for his administration.

McCain, the almost-dead warrior, promising to pursue America’s enemies to the gates of hell but let in brazillions of dirty Mexicans.

9iu11ani, the gay-loving, baby-killing, cross-dressing man-whore, chronic liar and serial adulterer. 9/11.

Huckabee: the folksy, ball-shrivellingly scary anti-Reagan who loves Jebus, taxes.

Thompson, the former actor and abortion lobbyist too lazy to do anything but sit there and grunt like a walloped seal.

You're welcome.