More on today's phenomenal progress!

Today's headlines almost cause a flux in the space-time continuum:

Bush touts 'real' progress as fighting continues unabated across Iraq

Attacks rage in Baghdad

U.S. forces drawn deeper into Iraq crackdown

Preznit CrashTestDummy said Thursday he saw signs of progress in Iraq despite "an upswing of violence," despite continued mortar attacks in what should be the safest place in the country, despite fierce fighting in two major cities, despite tens of thousands of civilians taking to the streets in Baghdad in protest, and despite the fact that Baghdad is under curfew.

Maybe he should let the embassy workers know just how great things are going --

The State Department has instructed all personnel at the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad not to leave reinforced structures due to incoming insurgent rocket fire that has killed two American government workers this week.

In a memo sent Thursday to embassy staff, the department says employees are required to wear helmets and other protective gear if they must venture outside even in the heavily fortified Green Zone and strongly advises them to sleep in blast-resistant locations instead of the less secure trailers that most occupy.

"Due to the continuing threat of indirect fire in the International Zone, all personnel are advised to remain under hard cover at all times," it says. "Personnel should only move outside of hard cover for essential reasons."

Outstanding.

Update: the Iraqi V.P.'s Green Zone office has been attacked in a mortar or rocket strike, and at least one security guard has been killed.

Another "positive moment": al-Maliki extends the deadline for militias to hand over weapons, as aid agencies fear a humanitarian crisis.

And in a remarkable turnaround, five civilians were killed and four others wounded in an attack in Sadr City, Baghdad today.

Above: arrrrrrr!