Wealthy beerfrau denies existence of sister, nephew

Privileged heiress Cindypills McCain lies when she claims to be an "only child."

"I grew up with my dad," the overly-made-up trollop said on CNN. "I'm an only child. My father was a cowboy, and he really loved me very much, but I think he wanted a son occasionally."

That's news to her half-sister and her family --

"I'm upset," Kathleen Portalski says. "I'm angry. It makes me feel like a nonperson, kind of."

Boy, if she holds her own relations in such disregard, how does she feel about the rest of America?