Friday Funnies

"Think about it. Just six days from today, we'll know for sure exactly which candidate will be suing the other for voter fraud." --Jay Leno
"More Republicans endorsing Barack Obama. Great. Now Republicans will have to suppress their own turnout." --Stephen Colbert
"Here's how it works. Election is Tuesday. And then Wednesday is the first day of Sarah Palin's 2012 campaign." --David Letterman
"Republicans are warning voters right now that if Barack Obama is elected president, the Democrats will control all three branches of the government. That's what they're saying, yeah. John McCain said this would be dangerous, Dick Cheney said it would be expensive, And Sarah Palin said, we have three branches of government?" --Conan O'Brien
"You know what, justice system? Do your worst to Ted Stevens. Throw the book at him. Sentence him to solitary. Nothing is going to break this man! Because he knows that he has what it takes to be pardoned by President Bush. But, listen, Senator Stevens, if you do end up in prison, try sneaking out through the internet. After all, it really is just a series of tubes." --Stephen Colbert