Flailin turkeys Pailin

"Is it chilly outside today? I'm telling you, coming to work today, it was so cold, I was shaking like Sarah Palin taking a geography test." --David Letterman

"Sarah Palin thinks the alphabet has 22 letters. She's so dumb she thinks the capital of China is Chinatown. Sarah Palin is so dumb, she thinks billboards are postcards from giants. The governor of Alaska is so dumb, she thinks soy milk is Spanish for 'I am milk.'" --"Daily Show" correspondent Wyatt Cenac

"Well, according to a new post-election survey, people want Sarah Palin to run for president in 2012. It says she's been getting thousands of calls from people pleading with her to run, all Democrats." --Jay Leno

"Alaska Governor Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey, though she said she was amazed to find out that, besides being a bird, Turkey is also a country. Did you see that all over the internet today? While Sarah Palin was pardoning a turkey, right behind her was a guy slaughtering turkeys. ... But, see, like most internet stories, a little half-true. Turns out that, after a couple of minutes listening to Sarah Palin's voice, the turkeys said 'Kill us now.'" --Jay Leno

Late Show - Top Ten Sarah Palin Excuses